Sometimes you can’t help but overhear a conversation. The sound waves somehow reach your ears against your will and all that is left for you to do is tune in to the freshest gossip about John being a complete jerk or Margaret forgetting to bring homemade goods to the baking fair (how could she?).
However, not all chats that happen in public are this tame, and people in this Reddit thread definitely know this. From overhearing orders to eliminate some witnesses to receiving news about strange medical diagnoses, scroll down to find the most unhinged private conversations people eavesdropped on in public.
While you're at it, don't forget to check out a conversation with world-leading etiquette expert Jo Hayes, corporate etiquette educator Adrienne Barker, and modern-day etiquette expert and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, Jenny Dreizen, who kindly agreed to chat with us more about eavesdropping etiquette.
#1
I overheard a guy in my school, whom I didn't know because he was two years younger than me, telling someone over the phone that he didn't want to live any more - he was so tired of being lonely all the time and getting bullied day in, day out. His crying pierced my soul...
I was really popular at that time: had a lot of friends, was always pulling pranks with them, knew the teachers pretty well... So one day, me and my best friend followed him to the bathroom (this sounds so weird, but we had been observing him and we knew he hid in the toilets during breaks) and we kind of started a conversation on how his shirt was really cool and that we were a fan of the same band as him. And then we invited him to sit with us, and we kept that up until we graduated, and to this day, we're still friends. I regularly checked up on him during the time I knew he was depressed, without ever telling him I had overheard him when he was on the phone. He's doing great now - he's in his second year of music academy. I don't know if we "saved his life", but I sure bet we made it a little easier for him.
And seriously, he's become one of my best friends. Such a sweet kid then, and still a great guy now.
Image credits: Idan_Orion_Vane
#2
I was studying with a friend in their dorm in college. It was a suited dorm with a shared bathroom. Heard multiple girls going into the bathroom together franticly and turn the shower on. Voice one was sobbing uncontrobbly then I heard her say "I told him no, I told him I kept telling him to stop." Voice two responded with something along the lines of "hey, I know you did, it's going to be okay. Let's wash the blood off first"
F*****g horrified me. I will never forget the way her voice and her sobs sounded. I was an RA and was required to report the situation because of my job. I had been through a similar situation, I knew how hard it was and wanted to check on her, but because I was a male I didn't feel my presence would help in the situation. Called a female RA over to come check on her. Felt completely powerless not being able to check on her myself.
Image credits: DominionKnight
#3
I’m a wedding videographer. At every wedding I work with a photographer. Sometimes I get along with them, sometimes not.
Anyways, I’m working with this photo team at a wedding. We’re doing family photos which is the worst part of the day. It’s just a long drawn out 30 minutes of people not knowing where to stand, yelling for people who have walked away and were supposed to be in the next group photo, dealing with kids, etc.
I overhear one of the photographers whisper to the other: “Sometimes, when I’m having a rough time in family photos, I like to imagine everything everyone says came from behind a closed bedroom door, with a very strong implication of sexual intent.”
That was years ago and to this day I can’t help but think of it at every wedding. Hearing someone say something like “GRANDPA GET BACK OVER HERE! WERE NOT DONE WITH YOU IN THE MIDDLE!” Is now the bane of my existence.
Image credits: Old-Figure922
All three etiquette experts agree that eavesdropping is impolite.
"Eavesdropping crosses a fundamental boundary of respect. In my years of teaching etiquette, I've found that deliberate listening to conversations not meant for your ears violates the trust we establish in both personal and professional relationships," said corporate etiquette educator Adrienne Barker.
"It's particularly problematic in business settings where I often consult, as it can undermine team dynamics and raise serious confidentiality issues. When someone eavesdrops, they're essentially taking information without permission—and that's never good form!"
#4
Dollar store grandma
'' this family really went to s**t while I was in prison''.
Image credits: raka_defocus
#5
Kids talking at the Park, very loudly, about how they [unalived] my cat. Which I had found earlier and was at the park trying to cheer up. I sued them.
Image credits: Revolutionary-Form24
#6
At the grocery store I heard an elderly lady turn to her husband and say "shall we get naked?".
Took a double take to realize she was reaching towards the "Naked" fruit juice brand.
Image credits: lasarus29
"When we are in a public space, and there is no concept of assumed privacy, it can be easy to listen in to someone's conversation. I think as long as we are not straining, staring, or letting our jaws hit the floor, it isn't too impolite," explained modern-day etiquette expert and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, Jenny Dreizen.
"I think where eavesdropping gets into truly impolite territory is actually rooted in the etymology of the word—to drop from the eaves, literally hang within the overhangs of a roof, meant to spy, essentially. Not all information, thoughts, or feelings are meant to be heard by indiscriminate parties, so listening to a conversation someone believes to be private while remaining hidden or unseen is definitely considered impolite."
#7
When I was little my mom and I were at a library next to my dance studio waiting for my dance class. A guy on the phone speaking quietly but not that quiet, was saying “so many girls in this area, and they are all wearing little tutus, you really gotta come check them out, they are basically asking for it”
My mom, and another woman near by went to the police station (also next door) to file a report. The police did nothing.
A couple months later we found out the police station was covering up crimes of a child predator. It made national news I think… at least regional news.
So I lost my trust in police when I was VERY young. But sadly that wasn’t the first time I got a bad feeling about a creepy man. This world sucks.
Image credits: anon
#8
A woman on the phone with her mother crying about how the man she was having an affair with was cheating on her.
Image credits: planesflyfast
#9
On the bus about 10 years ago. Two girls in their mid to late 20s.
Girl 1 "omg you're pregnant, whose the dad"
Girl 2 "it's brad"
Girl 1 "your brother?"
Girl 2 "he's only my half brother so it's fine"
I think about this conversation more than I should.
Image credits: supertrooper85
If you overheard information accidentally and kept it to yourself, don't worry, you're not going to be morally condemned.
"For example, if, when walking past your colleague’s office door, you overhear something private and confidential, that’s accidental. That would not be classified as eavesdropping," explained world-leading etiquette expert Jo Hayes.
"Covertly hovering outside your colleague’s door to listen in on their conversation is eavesdropping. But, in the case of the former, if one hovers even for a second to hear more information, that is eavesdropping. And, of course, if accidentally hearing information, one must keep what they’ve heard to themselves."
#10
I used to work with a maintenance tech who had formerly worked in corrections. One day he was outside having a smoke when I came up and lit my own and he casually continued his conversation with our other tech. He was busy explaining that he worked overnights at the prison, and they were chronically understaffed.. so when one night he did his rounds and came upon an inmate being gang r***d in his cell, he wasn’t allowed to physically intervene because it would be a 5v1 situation. He had to wait for backup, which he knew wouldn’t be available because they were under staffed. He told the guys to “go easy on him”… that still sticks with me.
Image credits: anon
#11
Back when I used to live with my dad and his girlfriend (it was "his/our house" - she was the guest there)
He used to travel for work a lot, I worked full time and had to co-live with the gf and her kid, prepped all my meals and did all my shores.
Once overheard her telling her kid "I f*****g hate that f*****g s**t head, he was making noise last night when cooking, f*****g stupid kid"
And... That's when I got my own place.
Image credits: Correct_Drive_2080
#12
“Im afraid! I don’t wanna die!”
My mom’s cousin talking to her via phone call. She had Covid. Her mother and many other people in her family had died from Covid mere days before. I overheard this as I headed to the bathroom and it broke my heart.
She died a couple of days later.
Image credits: Icy-Performer-1469
While resisting the urge to eavesdrop can be tough, Dreizen says it's good to remember some psycho-emotional and practical steps.
"The golden rule reminds us we would have the grace to have a conversation in public without being listened to, and therefore, we would want the same for others, so when the urge to listen arises, try to flip the situation around and remind yourself of this. Physically blocking the conversation with headphones and music, a podcast, or an audiobook is a good idea, and then re-engage with your own work or interests, whether that be sending emails, texting a friend, or reading," she advised.
#13
I was a little kid in the early 90s, and while standing in line at McDonalds we overheard some teenagers joking about running over peoples pets.
My mom saw how upset this made us and scolded them enough that they fled McDonalds. Hopefully not to a car.
Image credits: ooo-ooo-oooyea
#14
"i just don't understand how a colonoscopy can be a virtual appointment.."
Overheard in the cubicle next to me at work 😭😭😭.
Image credits: anon
#15
"Just poke a hole in it. He'll never know.". Unfortunately, the guy they were talking about was not present at the bar, otherwise my blunt, no-f**ks-given self would have warned him.
Image credits: brooklynonymous
"If a private conversation starts up near you and the conversational partners are unaware that anyone else is present (perhaps they can’t see you), making some sort of noise—e.g., clearing one’s throat—or actually making yourself visible to let them know that others are present is the polite and respectful thing to do," added Hayes.
"This way, they can choose to lower their volume, and/or, move to a separate space to ensure the conversation is not overheard. If neither option is possible, removing oneself from the situation so that one can no longer overhear the conversation is the moral/ethical thing to do (and, therefore, the correct action, etiquette-wise). This is especially true if the conversation is clearly private/personal/confidential."
#16
Woman I worked with thought everyone had already left and I got to listen to the conversation with her and her ex-husband. Man was pleading with her to let him see his teenage daughter more often and she was insisting on more alimony/child support. He told her he was already living in a trailer and going in debt to pay for the daughters private school and couldn't afford more. The woman said he would come up with what she was asking for or she would show the daughter the DNA test that showed she wasn't actually his daughter. I don't think I've ever felt as bad for a guy and as nauseated by a woman so instantly in my life.
#17
Not the most f****d up, but last month there was a guy in the hallway of our school talking with his doctor on speaker. I could hear everything they talked about. He thinks he might have an STD and they talked about all of his symptoms and that his girlfriend told him she was a virgin, etc.
Why the hell would you loudly talk about that stuff with speaker on in a public place?
Image credits: Tasty01
#18
Last week I overheard two women talking in the store.
"The moon landing didn't happen! People are so gullible! I mean, how would they find a phone cord long enough to reach to the moon!?".
Image credits: whereugoincityboy
#19
I was at a bar once with friends and in one of those moments where the room-wide din momentarily dies down, we heard a woman at the table next to us playing voice mails for her giggling friends. It was a distraught wife begging her to stop having an affair with her husband, and the woman and her friends were basking in this wife's pain. All four of us turned to stare bug-eyed like wtf. I think of them time to time, and hope they all get space aids ebola.
#20
From my flatmates’ room, I heard the loudest belch one could imagine. It would’ve been unremarkable, but then I heard her pat her tummy and say
‘Good girl…’.
#21
When I was in middle school a group of girls sat down near me and started talking a bit too loud. One of the girls said she was going to try and "[unalive] the baby" with red bull and liquor. She was 13.
Image credits: Nuclearspartan
#22
American tourists in Helsinki talking about Mammoths being mythical creatures. They couldn't be convinced otherwise.
Image credits: Wide-Affect-1616
#23
A mother talking about her 15 year old daughter having her third kid with a 27 year old man. Talking about it like it was a blessing and they were "so grateful for what the lord provides". This was in a VERY rural town in Kentucky. Still makes me nauseous to think about.
#24
Overheard a Belgian christian girl on a train telling her friends about her romantic history. Basically she identified as hetero and dated men, then bi, then lesbian and dated women. She was certain that she was a lesbian and that she dated men uniquely because that's what society expected her to do. She then got deeper into religion, got more involved within her church and now identifies as a lesbian dating men. Because that's what the church considers proper. And she told her friends that she's not attracted at all to her boyfriend and would date women if she was not religious.
She said all this very loudly and cheerfully while I was trying to sleep. I found it very sad.
#25
- "Why did you penetrate her while she was sleeping?"
- " I don't know, I was bored" while shrugging shoulders.
I was about 19yo and learn that day you can't trust anybody.
#26
A girl in the next change room telling her mum “you better fit in a size 16… I’m not having an obese mum”.
It broke my f*****g heart.
#27
Not the most but just the other day I overheard “It turns out my whole family’s solar eclipse glasses were fake hahahaha” - Dad to another Dad at school drop off.
Image credits: burgeroburger
#28
Not the most but pretty disturbing. I was sitting on my porch and could hear my neighbors talking.
Granddaughter: look grandma! A cat!
Grandma: I don’t give a f**k
🤨.
Image credits: BigTicEnergy
#29
This was something my mom overheard, not me - and it's f****d up in the sense that it's so sad, it f***s with my heart every time I think about it.
When my dad was sick in the hospital, there was a little boy (maybe 7 years old?) a few rooms down from him. It wasn't the ICU, but it also wasn't just for folks who needed one night's stay to get better if that makes sense. I think it was around Christmas time when this happened, so one night my mom was leaving to head home and she overheard the little boy crying with his parents. As she walked by his room, she heard him say "but mommy, I've been so good this year. Am I in here because Santa thinks I was bad? I'll do better next year, I promise!"
😭.
#30
Not the most f****d up thing I ever heard, but one that frequently comes to memory. I used to bounce at a strip club, and one time, I had to go in the locker room to let one of the girls know someone was there to see her. When I walked in, there were 4 girls sitting in there, all talking about which antipsychotics worked best for them. I was young and didn't realize just how sad of a place that was until I walked in on that conversation.
Image credits: axeflick
#31
Two people, early twenties working in luxurious hotel, casually discussing how lucky Africans were to have been colonized by white people.
Image credits: RecyclingExtraSoft
#32
Overheard from a couple guys in Statics class in college:
"So, whenever I go to a party, I take the cap off of every bottle I can find in the bathroom; shampoo, conditioner, stuff like that, and pee into it.".
Image credits: imjustme80
#33
In Vegas on a very hungover Monday morning before my departing flight I heard the person in the hotel room next door wailing, crying sobbing and screaming something to the tune of “I’ve lost it all, I’m so f****d” for hours straight.
Image credits: The_Smoking_Pilot
#34
"A dead man doesn't f*****g narc".
Swear to God. I was 12 years old with a couple of friends on our bikes eating gelato outside an Italian bakery that was kind of notorious. Two guys in suits were talking, one big guy was very animated and yelled that out at the other one.
It's so crazy I sometimes wonder if I imagined it, but both my friends confirmed they remembered it too for years afterwards.
#35
People (presumably brother and sister) discussing the annoyance of having to visit their dying dad at the hospital bc it was ruining their plans. I wanted to berate them with every insult known to man but I would’ve looked insane.
#36
Used to go to the public library to write. Would put on headphones but sometimes they were off so I could hear others at the study tables. One time some guy was arranging meetings on his phone and giving out his phone number. For giggles I typed it into Google and a whole bunch of escort services popped up. Another time it was an older gang member teaching two youngins to never give the cops their real name because they might have outstanding warrants somewhere.
Image credits: tangcameo
#37
“I didn’t want the last 2 kids”, my dad said. “Me neither, you’re the one that always wanted $€X” my mom said. “You dumb b” said my dad. This was during their divorce. I was 5. Asked my much older brother what that was.
Thanks for letting me know early. I processed that for years. Still rings some days. Whatever though. Fk em. I’ve got my own kids that I wanted. They know what love is.
#38
When i was 13 i overhead my mom talking about how she lost her first son when he turned 3 months old on the phone with her doctor
i had to process that i had a dead sibling at 13.
she never never told any of my siblings about this, she doesn't even know I'm aware of her dead son.
sometimes it keeps me up at night.
#39
Overheard my parents talking about being worried I was gonna shoot up my high school.
I just liked playing video games….
#40
I overheard a conversation out in public between a couple, where the woman in a chilling, somber tone said “I can’t even look at you, knowing that YOUR FATHER…was performing HUMAN experimentations…” I went into full casual snoop mode to get the tea. The more I listened and watched, the clearer it was that this woman was going through some mental health crisis. Her pattern of speech was so bizarre, and her sentences slipped in and out of coherency. The poor man just looked so defeated. The were both dressed like they were in dire straits, and the man had this expression on his face like he was realizing the reality that his partner was losing it.
#41
"If she's old enough to cross the street she's old enough to get this meat"
Overheard at work one day.
#42
A mom at the water park telling her 6-8 yr old that she looked fat in the bikini and should’ve worn the one piece.
#43
I was at work walking past some contractors sitting on a bench smoking. All I heard was one guy say to the other, “well she already took the best years of your life, why shouldn’t she take half of everything you own?” He then started laughing uncontrollably. The whole time the other guy was sitting with his head in his hands obviously upset.
Image credits: anthraciter
#44
My favorite, a cellphone conversation overheard years ago, I was on a park bench when a guy on his phone walked by, "Yes, alright I get it. I s**t on the floor, you happy? But if she just picked it up when I told her to, we wouldn't be fighting now!"
...wat.
#45
A girl in a bus was talking to her friends about a guy that murdered someone in a park we passed by. She then continued talking about wanting to murder someone herself to know how it feels, and wondered about wanting to murder people more often after the first one.
Worst part was that she was chewing gum insanely loud while talking too.
#46
While walking under a hotel balcony near a boardwalk “I’m not paying you to shake your a*s”… just kept walking.
Image credits: popcorn_mania
#47
My first day of selling tickets at Disneyland solo. I take my first break and there on a pay phone (1998) is a character performer with the Mickey head off, but they were wearing the rest of the standard Mickey costume.
“Listen a*****e, if you’re home when I get home this will escalate even more than it already has.“
They hung up very forcefully. They noticed me and left.
I just remember thinking “ I hope Minnie is okay.”.
#48
Walking past a phonebooth in the city, a 13yo boy says "I don't f*****g care. I'll keep cutting myself, and if you don't come pick me up right now mum I'll try and [unalive] myself again. And that c**t better not be at home when I get back".
#49
I once overheard my manager and his subordinate in the break room saying that no one will find out about the off the book stuff they were doing (they were buying material using company money and doing their own work) they didn’t know I was there because I was in the next room changing into my normal clothes.
A few weeks later they were both caught and no longer work where I am. It was revealed they’d been doing it for 4 years and both made $600,000 each.
#50
"Oh I barely drank anything today, just two wines and some water" whilst at work.
...
I work at a school.
Image credits: anon
#51
I was at cold stone with my child a couple weeks ago and overheard the staff tell each other about how ones uncle was having a secret affair with their cousin and when it had come to light he filed for divorce and married their cousin.
Image credits: Ok-Sydnos
#52
In college my friend’s dad would get super drunk and leave her 10 minutes messages. One time he said “your f**k a*s mom should have had an abortion when I told her to.” Nice guy.
#53
Heard a dude talking about “[unaliving] both the child and parent” on the phone.
But since it’s an area with a lot of IT companies, I’m sure it’s something about [unaliving] the child process and parent process.
#54
Not messed up in the way you’re asking, but in college my roommate and I had a couple girls over and we all seemed to be hitting it off. We were hoping to retire to our separate rooms to make out. Girls go to the restroom together and I’m outside smoking a cig. Could hear them talking about getting with us.
Girl I’m with: “are you going to hook up with [roommate]?”
Girl he’s with: “Oh yeah! You?”
Girl I’m with: “Eww no.”
That definitely messed me up bad. I hooked up with girls fairly often so it didn’t ruin my life or anything, but that memory never left my head….
Image credits: these_three_things
#55
Three girls were at the next table at a restaurant and they were discussing a date one of them had recently. Apparently he was not tall enough for her. I remember hearing clearly amongst her complaining, “He was so short, he could wear my p**sy for a hat.” Maybe not that f****d up but pretty hilarious.
#56
"Tony's in the dumpster. We can't do anything about that now.".
#57
“You can’t get STDs from a**l because you can’t get pregnant that way.” - a girl I hooked up with years ago.
Yes I got an STD test before my next sexual encounter.
#58
An ederly couple in the library:
-"How come you cheated on me with Margaret??"
-"SHE SUCKS D**K BETTER THAN YOU"
Then the woman goes to pick something up and she was wearing a skirt with nothing underneath... I still have nightmares...
#59
Not me but my mom at the mall overheard a soldiers wife telling her screaming child if she doesn’t stop misbehaving“ daddy won’t be coming home”.
#60
Asking a Lady if she wanted me to check the oil in her car, she said, "No thank you, I don't check the oil any more, it's always a quart low so I quit checking it...!"
Of course, it was over 3 quarts low after convincing her that her engine was about to burn up...
#61
We were visiting New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. We walked down Bourbon Street and kind of got out of the touristy area where some people were sitting on a stoop outside in front of a building and I heard “I’ve seen some s**t! I know people who like get down with animals and let you watch. We should go sometime.” I turned around and went the other way.
#62
“Everything’s OK. The guy is in custody and the woman and child have new names.”
I was on edge for most of my shift after that. .
#63
"if she [unalives] herself I'll be so happy" from what I could gather this group of girls were talking about someone they went to school with.
#64
Overheard a guy I work with (he's in his 40s)
On a call to a woman (who he had on loudspeaker) tell her that he would lie to his mother about what hours he was working so they could meet in a hotel while his mother watched his 2 kids (who don't live with him). Then the woman tried asking him about his kids, to which he replied "don't talk to me about my kids, talk to me about things I like, like p**sy & money".
#65
A few dudes at a bar/restaurant sitting at the table behind me. They're having a few beers and laughing and talking about past sexual conquests. One of them launches into a story about how he was in an orgy, and how hot it was having so many bodies tangled together. Then he drops the bomb that his cousin, who was also a dude, was a part of it too, and the other dudes go quiet. One of them asks if he did anything with his cousin, and he denied it hesitantly, then slowly says something along the lines of "Well, it was very dark, and all the bodies were slick with sweat, it didn't really matter who touched who or what went where." Judging by the silence from his friends, it very much did matter. He kept trying to justify it, saying how hot it was, but they all made excuses to leave within the next twenty minutes, and he was left alone, drinking at the table, staring at the wall and looking very much like he wished he hadn't told that story. .
#66
My daughter went to see the Nutcracker ballet with her Grandpa. At the train station on the way back she went to the bathroom and overheard the lady in the next stall on the phone talking about the injecting vs snorting d***s and which one was best; and then a pill rolled under the stall and rested against my daughter's shoe.
And that's how the story of the cracked-nutter was born.
#67
I was sitting in a restaurant and overheard 2 cops talking about pulling over only the workers from a certain factory in town. One said “They’re easy to spot because they all have a parking lot sticker on their cars, so just look for it.”.
#68
“Don’t repeat this, but my daughter is a f*****g hypocrite. She owns all these horses, and yet still owes me 40 Euros😡!”
Heard this at planet fitness while getting a massage. So confused.
#69
Overheard my mother telling her partner at the time that she hopes my dad agrees to her complicated custody plan, so she'd still get her child support payments.
#70
I heard a guy telling his wife over the phone that they were going to lose the house inside a bathroom, inside a McDonald’s, inside a Walmart one time. It was real Russian Nesting Doll of depression.
#71
"I always felt bad for the kids with ugly mothers.".
#72
So one time I was at a really nice wedding; While I was waiting for it to start, I was pacing the pews in the church’s corridor, because for some reason I was feeling really nervous about the whole ordeal. As I was pacing, I couldn’t help but overhear a bridesmaid talking to a waiter about what a w**re the bride was. Man, it really f****d me up hearing them say that. Idk. I just don’t understand why people can’t close the god damn door. You know?
