Nobody’s perfect, and everyone messes up from time to time—it’s only human. But a huge part of being a decent person is taking responsibility for your mistakes, learning from them, and also offering an apology if it’s needed. Though, truth be told, not everyone’s good at owning up to what they’ve done—they either get defensive or their ego gets in the way.
Internet user Alexandra (@alexccarterr) went massively viral online after inviting everyone to pretend that the comment section of her post is how guys apologize. Many of the responses she got were hilarious, eerily accurate, and sparked a wider discussion about apologies in general. We’ve collected some of the best comments to share with you. Keep scrolling to read them.
Alexandra's online post was viewed over 17.7 million times and received more than 184.1 thousand comments
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It would be an understatement to say that Alexandra’s post was popular. It was a huge success and literally reached millions of people around the globe. It just goes to show how much a relatable topic with room for humor really resonates with people.
At the time of writing, her post was viewed 17.7 million times on TikTok. What’s more, it got more than 1.9 million likes and 184.1 thousand comments. Bored Panda has reached out to Alexandra via Instagram for further comment about the popularity of her post, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
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The Harvard Medical School notes that it’s still important to apologize when you’ve hurt or angered someone, even if you don’t believe what you said or did was bad. The same goes for situations where you believe you’re fully in the right and the other person is completely in the wrong: an apology can go a long way.
It’s also important to let go of your ideas about who’s right and wrong in the situation and to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Understanding another person’s experiences is a core part of emotional intelligence, which, in turn, lies at the foundation of healthy and productive relationships.
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Naturally, an apology doesn’t really matter if it’s not genuine. If you don’t mean it, why bother saying ‘sorry’ at all? When your apology is genuine, not only do you acknowledge your responsibility for your actions, but you also validate the other person’s (hurt) feelings.
In short, a real apology shows not only that you’re sorry and that you care about the other individual but that you’re also going to make amends and avoid similar mistakes in the future.
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Psychiatrist and apology expert Dr. Aaron Lazare explained that good apologies have four elements.
First, you have to acknowledge the offense and confirm that your behavior was unacceptable. One potential pitfall to avoid here is the use of vague or evasive language. You should not word your apology in a way that minimizes your offense or the victim’s level of hurt.
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Secondly, you should take the time to explain exactly what happened. However, you have to balance things delicately here. You want to offer an explanation without seeming like you’re excusing your behavior.
With that in mind, the Harvard Medical School points out that sometimes the best strategy is to say that “there is no excuse.”
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The third element of a truly good apology is to express remorse. In short, if you really regret your decision and feel ashamed, you should speak up. The last element is offering to make amends.
This is fairly straightforward if you’ve physically damaged someone’s things or property; you offer to pay to get it repaired or replace the item. However, when you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, you should acknowledge the pain they felt while promising to do better moving forward.
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Reporting on the book ‘Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies,’ by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy, NPR states that there are six and a half steps to making great apologies.
For one, you should say that you’re actually sorry, not that you’re devastated or that you regret something. Furthermore, you should be specific about what it is you’re apologizing for.
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Next, you want to take ownership of your behavior, avoid making excuses, and explain why your mistake won’t happen again in the future. You should also make reparations for your mess-up.
The last (half of a) step when apologizing is to genuinely listen to the person you’ve hurt so they can have their say.
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According to Ingall, using the word ‘regret’ is all about how you feel while ‘sorry’ is about how the other person feels. In other words, it’s vital to “keep the other person’s feelings at top of mind.”
A genuine apology can be very powerful even if it comes late, helping people heal and move on.
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How good would you say you are at apologizing, dear Pandas? How often do you run into people who make half-baked apologies or try to twist the situation in their favor? What is the very best apology that you’ve ever received?
Why do you think people find it so difficult to take responsibility for their actions? If you have a free moment, share your thoughts in the comments below.
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