Whether people can’t wait to hold a bundle of joy in their arms or can’t imagine themselves as parents, they all have their reasons for feeling the way that they do. But the former group arguably doesn’t have to answer as many questions about their decision as child-free people do.
Many people who belong to the latter category would likely attest that their stance on the issue is often met with a “why?”, to which they can tell you that the reasons are ample (the most common ones being simply not wanting to, wanting to focus on other things, or being concerned about the state of the world).
Such reasons were recently discussed by members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community after one netizen asked them why they didn’t want to have children. Quite a few people opened up, so if you want to see what deters them from having kids, you can find their answers on the list below; and if you’re child-free yourself, feel free to share your two cents on the topic in the comments section.
#1
Because I saw how exhausted parents look.
Image credits: randinicole831
#2
I like sleeping, having money, and enjoying peace. Kids threaten all three.
Image credits: Best_Sherbet2727
#3
The sound of a baby crying makes me want to jump out a window.
Image credits: Gu1n3ss
#4
The thought of pushing a human being out my v****a sounds horrifying.
Image credits: IceCreamPlsss
#5
They are just really annoying honestly.
Image credits: mlbrano
#6
I am not financially secure enough to give my child a good life.
Image credits: Prestigious-Bambi
#7
I love my free time more than anything. I can do anything I want at any time when I'm not working. I read, make videos about table top games, play video games, hang out with my wife and dogs, hang out with friends.
Image credits: s-prettypumpkin
#8
I don't want them.
Image credits: 0nionBerry
#9
I just don’t. I wish people would respect that. .
Image credits: Turbulent_Divide_311
#10
In this economy?!
Image credits: leadthemwell
#11
The screams, the horrible screams….
Image credits: gorgeousoutrageous
#12
*gestures around wildly*.
#13
Our family has a genetic disease, I don't want my child to suffer the same way as I am.
Image credits: EirenVayn
#14
We don’t need reasons. Want is a subjective word. Any reason for not wanting kids a person has is valid.
#15
I like having a peaceful life, get to save my money, time, and energy. Having a kid just sounds like a nightmare, every young parent I know is miserable af.
Image credits: Solid-Group8544
#16
It’s a trap. When I watch people with children, my friends, but also my mother, I see not one single thing enticing enough to make me want to have them. All I see is misery and prison.
Image credits: hosenmitblumen
#17
Being a parent looks miserable to me, I’ve never seen a couple with kids and thought “they seem genuinely happy.”.
Image credits: retiredtumblrgoth
#18
The questions should be: people who want children, what are your biggest reasons.
#19
I'm terrified and repulsed by pregnancy and labor. I always knew women could feel the fetus kick, but when I found out you can actually see the foot or hand... Oh, I get queasy thinking about it.
I'm super bitter about my female body being made exclusively for that purpose, so it's also a protest against the universe. I can die in the process of this body doing what it's built for - that doesn't sit right with me.
This is on top of the world going to hell in a handbasket, as well as my mental health already settled there. Depression runs in my family, so does failing joints and arthritis. Not enough reasons to have them. I'm too selfish to adopt as well. Just a hard no all around.
#20
I really wanted kids. When I was married, we agreed to start trying. I got pregnant. He was no longer excited. He seemed angry and annoyed about everything about me being pregnant-- that I was sensitive to smells and couldn't handle raw meat, that I needed help with the litter boxes. I ended up having a miscarriage and even that was a hassle with him. He made me wait hours to take me to the hospital and then when we were there, he watched YouTube videos on his phone and the only thing he said to me was that I was making him miss a party with his friends. This was obviously one of the final nails in the coffin for our marriage and we divorced a few months later. But it also made me reevaluate if having kids and potentially being stuck to a man who could become so casually cruel was worth the shot at being a mother. I've seen many women stuck with men who became entirely different people after kids were involved. I don't want to deal with what might happen if things don't go well. I have enough nieces and nephews to interact with that I don't feel like I'm missing out on much by not having one of my own. If I met someone who really wanted kids and I felt like they'd be a great and active dad, I'd consider it again. But if that doesn't happen, I'll keep my dog kiddos.
#21
I want children but there is some mental illness in my family that I am afraid to pass on.
Image credits: z-cutesugar
#22
Free time and money. Cats are more entertaining and cheaper.
#23
The world is just becoming a worse and worse place.
Pollution, global warming, fighting, increasing hate, intolerance.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s which was a great era and there is no way I could ever provide kids the same happiness, joy and bright future that I had.
#24
To quote a comment I’ve read somewhere “I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them”.
#25
I cant afford them and i value my hobbies.
Image credits: UnknownGoblin892
#26
Children are a burden. They cost money, they cost time, and they are unpredictable. They might steal from you, get the police interested in you, throw a party in your house, break everything you’ve worked so hard for. They might murder you in your sleep or burn down your house.
You have to feed them, clothe them, keep them alive and they are little psychos.
If you want to throw away any semblance of peace and quiet, have children. If you want little failures who might refuse to work and support themselves and borrow money from you, have children.
If you want insanity for your entire life, have children.
Image credits: TonsilKicker
#27
They’re expensive and they stink.
Image credits: Tasty-Fuel769
#28
I don’t want a hard life. Pregnancy terrifies me, kids are expensive, and I don’t know if I have the patience to be a good parent and also have a fulfilling life of my own. I like the freedom of being able to do what I want without having to consider children. And I don’t want to bring kids into this world, I wouldn’t know what kind of life they could even have if I did.
#29
The children are the very reason lol.
#30
I value my space and freedom.
I like being independent.
The world is going to s**t.
Pregnancy and giving birth is terrifying.
And my anxiety would make me a bad mom, I would probably f**k up the kids.
#31
49 [m], i feel like i never matured past a teenager.
Image credits: Novel-Position-4694
#32
Because I can’t even keep plants alive.
#33
My wife doesn’t want to go through the physical experience of pregnancy and child birth, which I can respect.
I’ve never felt a strong pull to have kids. And I believe if you’re gonna have kids you should really really want them. .
#34
I’m a preschool teacher- my favorite children will always be the ones I can return 🤷🏻♀️.
#35
Children suck… while it’s not their fault at all, they’re a chronic k**l joy, wildly expensive, often remove parents from their identity, namely primary caregivers (mothers). Having one so I’ll be taken care of when I’m old is not a compelling enough argument. Everyone talks about why people don’t want children, what about why they do? Children are the epitome of indulgence and often poorly timed and planned.
#36
My husband and I love being able to do whatever we want whenever we want and naps!
#37
I’d rather have dogs.
#38
Because they're gross, annoying, get you sick from a single day at school, cost too much money, are a hindrance on freedom in your life, plus seeing people these days with mini a******s they let do whatever is a deterrent enough. Honestly people with kids should just keep them at home more. No one wants to hear your screaming child. It's obnoxious.
#39
Not having kids is the default. I have no desire to have kids as I see no reason, therefor I default to not having.
I feel a more interesting question would be to ask people who have kids why they do. There's a weird double standard though. It's acceptable for people to ask me "why not?" when they find out I don't have kids, but sort of taboo to ask them "why?" when finding out that they have kids.
#40
I was raised by a mother with BPD and a physically a*****e alcoholic father in an extended family with extreme generational trauma. I decided at 12 that all of that would end with me. At 50 I feel exactly the same way.
#41
My peace is more important than creating life in such a broken world where the child would struggle-- regardless of my station in life.
#42
Everything. There’s literally nothing appealing about having children. If someone says they don’t want kids accept and move on.
#43
Freedom. I simply can’t imagine giving up my entire life and a crazy amount of money to babysit and raise kids. I work 40 to 50 hours a week but I still manage to get out and fish, mountain bike, surf, kayak, gaming after work every day. Almost every weekend I travel for weekend getaways. I get to do what I want, where I want, how I want. I get to take vacations where I want to go, etc
For some people having kids is great and they love it. It would absolutely destroy my lifestyle and what I live for. But I haven’t wanted kids since I was a teenager and I’m almost 30 now. My decision isn’t changing.
#44
Children trigger my autism. The idea of someone needing me all the time and never being able to just have a break freaks me out. Crying and screaming and even just being energetic all the time would also bother me. I babysit my two nieces ( 5 and 7) from time to time, and I can only do a couple of hours before I start to feel a meltdown coming on. I can barely take care of myself, and I don't want the responsibility of someone else on top of that.
#45
Children are awful, loud, always sticky, expensive, annoying and every person i have ever met with children seems tired and miserable 100% of the time.
I think the better question is why would anyone want children.
#46
I've never understood the appeal of children. I don't think they're fun, or cute, or funny, or interesting at all. Maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something. If I see someone with a baby, I walk by without a second look. Now if someone has a puppy or a kitten, I lose my f*****g mind. I guess I'm just more suited to be a pet parent. We're in our mid-late 40's and have never regretted not having kids.
#47
I never saw mothers smiling when I was growing up (Ireland -80s - no birth control). They were trapped. I decided at age 7 that I would never be trapped.
#48
I don't have the emotional capacity to care for a child.
They deserve to be loved, not simply tolerated.
Also my bloodline really doesn't need more.
#49
I‘m really selfish about my time and money.
#50
Lack of interest or passion for raising kids.
#51
They take so much work.
I was not raised well and do not believe I would improve upon that enough to be a "good" parent.
My health isn't the best, and having a little disease factory in the house would not help matters.
I enjoy relaxing and don't want to give that up for a decade or two.
#52
The endless, expensive amount of stress and responsibility on top of an already difficult life, society just isn’t appealing. I also can’t fathom how to bring a child up in our current environment where everything in our society is set up against them and getting worse by the day.
#53
I honestly don't like children, I have had no interest in my nephews life, which is lucky as they live on the other side of the planet. Wife and I left it too late to have children even if we wanted any. We have 3 dogs, who are our children which is enough for me.
#54
I can’t even take care of myself.
#55
If it’s not an enthusiastic YES!…it’s a no. I simply don’t want to be a parent. The world is scary even for me, I can’t imagine the stress and worry of having a child. I also really have a problem with annoying noises, they make me see red.
#56
Bc I’m lying in bed on a Sunday morning at 10:24, reading Reddit, and don’t have to be anywhere right now.
#57
My wife and I don’t want kids for the following reasons:
1. We want to be able to travel
2. We like having disposable income
3. We want our free time
4. Neither of us has a desire to have kids.
5. I personally don’t want to bring a child into this f****d up world in a country that has devolved into fascism.
#58
As an autistic girl I don't think I'd be able to handle the responsibilities that come with having kids, it would be so overwhelming for me.
#59
Have you ever *met* a child?
#60
History has shown us that no matter how much love and attention and effort you put into your kid, they can still turn out like monsters. Serial killers, kid touchers, billionaire tax evaders who think empathy is a bad thing.
I simply refuse to be the person one of those monsters comes from. If I did, I refuse to be seen on television supporting such an awful human being.
Plus, if I wanted to be around kids, I’d be a school teacher. Not a breeder for the sake of “populating” out of social pressure.
#61
The world is a bad place why get children just to watch them suffer ?
#62
Many choose not to have children due to personal values, lifestyle, or concerns abouts finances, the environment, or the future. It’s a personal decision, and all reasons are valid.
#63
Climate change is awful and getting worse. I can't imagine bringing a child into a world without a future.
#64
There is so much sadness in the world. I lost my mom and my soul dog recently. The pain is unbearable. Why birth a child knowing they will one day feel this much sadness. It feels so selfish to bring a child into this world knowing they will suffer.
#65
I’m not 100% in the NO camp, I should say.
But for many years I’ve been in the “maybe not” camp.
Reasons being:
* I know WAY too much about childbirth - I NEED to know stuff to calm myself down and prep so in the prep time for “do I want kids or not” I’ve read all the good and all the bad stories
* almost every birth has something to wrong. Normal stuff is stuff like… you p*o yourself and you get a tear or two. The really bad stuff is baby gets stuck and you get an emergency cesarean where you feel every cut (happened to my family member) or you get cut open/tear all the way from your clitoris to your a*****e, like… one big hole. “Normal” stuff also includes incontinence issues, btw. Like up to half of women develop that issue post birth and it can happen years after birth too. Again, happened to my relative
* you can have textbook perfect pregnancy, baby is great…. And something goes wrong and you have a brain deprived of oxygen baby who needs 24/7/365 support who will never eat on their own or talk or walk or even maybe recognize you, but they don’t need breathing tubes etc, so they’re not essentially on life support machines. They’re just… never going to be able to do anything on their own and they will always be a person stuck on a newborn level inside their brains
* I’ve always thought that you should have the urge to have a baby or a child. I’ve never felt it. I don’t think babies are ugly and I love kids, they don’t annoy me. I’ve just never felt… the desire. I’ve felt the desire to have a dog or a cat. I know what it means to desire a certain item or covet something. So shouldn’t I feel the same about a kid, which is arguably one of the biggest decisions one can make?
#66
I actually wanted kids before I started working at a resort. Now I see angry bitter parents who hate each other and their screaming children and can’t enjoy themselves even on vacation. As I am now, I’m free to travel, buy expensive clothes, decorate how I want, and when I’m in a relationship, I love romance and alone time. Having a child doesn’t make any sense or align with my priorities.
#67
Honestly i don't want to lose my identity to being someone's mom. i know people say you just have to not let it happen but that's very hard seeing as people have to sway their lifestyle in an attempt to accommodate to their children. plenty of other reasons but being called "___'s mom" is just not something i want for myself. i also don't trust men to stay in the kids life. i literally do not know ONE father that has primary custody. as well as it's rare that i come across parents still together. i just refuse. also what pregnancy will do to my body.. it's too many reasons. the list just goes on and on.
