Opening up the Instagram account 'I Would Prefer Not To' is like walking into a room where the conversation has already reached its boiling point—surreal, disjointed, yet oddly compelling. At first, it seems as if the random images it shares without any context whatsoever are inviting you to piece together a narrative. But eventually, you realize there may not even exist one—so, you let go and simply revel in the strangeness. That is when you start to get it. What exactly, I don't know. But it's kind of profound.
More info: Instagram
#1
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
If you feel uneasy about the lack of an apparent reason in these pictures, however, that doesn't automatically mean there's something wrong with you. It's human to be uncomfortable when facing ambiguity, at least to some degree.
"We are a species with a negativity bias. We tend to assume the worst in uncertain situations because, when blanks are left unfilled, we have space to imagine tragedy," Southern Illinois-based psychotherapist Jennifer Gerlach, LCSW, told Bored Panda.
Gerlach specializes in psychosis, mood disorders, and young adult mental health and is the author of The Psychosis and Mental Health Recovery Workbook: Activities for Young Adults from ACT, DBT, and Recovery-Oriented CBT.
"For our ancestors, when there was an ambiguous figure on the savannah, it was much safer to assume they were looking at a predator rather than a friend. The people who mistook predators for friends were much more likely to get eaten (and not pass on their genes) than those who approached the creature as a threat," she explained.
#2
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#3
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
That being said, there can be some variance in each individual's response to uncertainty.
"Some people appreciate novelty, while others gravitate more toward what is known," the psychotherapist said.
"For those who like sameness, something certain might feel more comfortable, even if the uncertain may offer bright possibilities."
#4
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#5
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#6
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
To understand how people cope with intense uncertainty, Kate Sweeny, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and her team have spent years studying various populations as they awaited information in high-stakes situations.
For example, they gave law students who were preparing for the bar exam questionnaires at six separate time points: shortly before and after the exam, at two intermediate points during the 4-month waiting period, and immediately before and after learning whether they passed.
The results revealed that waiting is more difficult at the start and end of a waiting period and that on average, optimists report lower levels of anxiety and rumination.
#7
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#8
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#9
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#10
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
Psychotherapist Jennifer Gerlach said, "When there is uncertainty, often, there are a multitude of potential outcomes including some we might not even be aware of."
"Brief encounters with uncertainty like walking through a park we've never been to or trying a new type of food can help us ... embrace novelty. This can translate into more effective coping with other sorts of uncertainty as well. We can also set aside a specific time for planning/addressing worries. This can keep fear of uncertainty contained and give us a place to more effectively deal with matters we need to deal with," Gerlach explained.
#11
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#12
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#13
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#14
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
Distractions can be effective too.
In another study, Sweeny and her colleagues looked at whether "flow," or a state of complete immersion in one activity, helped people during three separate anxiety-provoking periods: law graduates waiting for their bar exam results, doctorate-level students in the academic job market awaiting matches to internships and residencies, and undergraduates waiting for their peers to rate their physical attractiveness.
They found that engaging in flow—even if it's a game of Tetris—can mitigate negative emotions and bolster positive ones, making waiting a little easier.
#15
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#16
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#17
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#18
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
On the internet, the phrase "I would prefer not to" was popularized thanks to philosopher Slavoj Žižek. He borrowed these words from Herman Melville's short story 'Bartleby, the Scrivener: A Story of Wall Street.'
In it, the protagonist Bartleby, a dutiful and productive employee, begins to respond to all of the work requests with "I would prefer not to." He does less and less work, and instead, he stares out the window at a brick wall all day. Bartleby's employer tries to reason with him but the attempts are pointless. One day, the employer arrives at the office to discover that Bartleby has moved himself in, and things just keep getting weirder.
Bartleby's refusal expressed in his "I would prefer not to"s throw the existing order into total disarray. He does nothing but this nothing turns out to be far more effective than "doing something."
I hope we all one day become as unfazed as Bartleby.
#19
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#20
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#21
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#22
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#23
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#24
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#25
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#26
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#27
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#28
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#29
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#30
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#31
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#32
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#33
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#34
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#35
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#36
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#37
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#38
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#39
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#40
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#41
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#42
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#43
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#44
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#45
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#46
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#47
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#48
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#49
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
#50
Image credits: iwouldpreferno
