More than half of young people say they’ve been choked during sexual intercourse, according to an Australian-first study, putting themselves — perhaps unknowingly — at risk of both short and long term health impacts. So what are the risks, and can choke-play ever be done ‘safely’?
A whopping 57 per cent of young Aussies (aged 18 to 35) have been choked by a partner during sex, according to a joint study from the University of Melbourne and University of Queensland.
Of the 4,702 individuals surveyed, 61 percent of women and 43 percent of men had been strangled during sex. However, the highest rate of erotic asphyxiation was amongst gender-diverse people, with 78 percent reporting they’d been chocked.
A third of people said they were first strangled or strangled a partner between the ages of 19 and 21.
However, experts warned that regardless of consenting to being choked, it is unavoidably dangerous and has serious long-term impacts — making the fact one in 10 women reported that they have been strangled before despite not giving consent prior even more upsetting.
So what’s going on? Why has choking become so commonplace, what are the dangers, and how can it be done safely?
Why has choking during sex become so popular?
The reason for the apparent rise in what was previously a fringe fetish has been pinned to a few influences. A whopping 29 per cent of individuals shared their first exposure to the practise was between the ages of 16 and 18 years old.
Unsurprisingly, the representation of choking as an almost standard part of sex in porn and TV/film were some of the biggest first encounters. However other influences like friends, social media, and partners also introduced a significant portion of people to choke-play.
- Porn = 61 per cent.
- Movies/TV = 40 per cent.
- Friends = 32 per cent.
- Social media = 31 per cent.
- Discussions with partners = 29 per cent.
Shows like The Idol, Euphoria, and movies like Fifty Shades Of Grey were infamous for their depictions of erotic asphyxiation.
Violence prevention educator Maree Crabbe said these influences have resulted in young people — particularly men — believing it is a standard expectation during intercourse.
“Some of them talk about not really being into it, there being an expectation, sometimes being asked by their partners to do it,” Crabbe told the ABC.
“But I think also it can be really difficult for young men to reject that as a sexual practice when it’s become normalised.”
Crabbe also shared how women in the survey said young women reported feeling “really uncomfortable” and “like they’re genuinely being murdered” while being choked during sex.
Despite the fact strangulation itself is a criminal offence in Australia, when it comes to consenting to the act during sex the line becomes legally “blurry”.
“While we conclude that clarification is needed, we also recognise that criminal law is always a blunt instrument. Any broadening of its scope has implications for the most vulnerable members of the community who are more likely to be prosecuted,” the study said.
What are the dangers of choking during sex?
Regardless of whether you are consenting or not, experts warned that choking during sex has a variety of deadly health impacts. Some of the risks of strangling seem somewhat obvious, including:
- bruising,
- sore throats,
- neck pain,
- damage to voice,
- coughing,
- difficulty swallowing,
- swollen lips,
- nausea, and vomiting.
However, the report warned of some of the lesser-known and deadly side effects, some of which can occur long after the initial strangling session.
These serious health risks include unconsciousness, brain damage, miscarriage, and even death — with the latter two possibly occurring months after being choked. Many of these injuries have no visible indicators.
Young people who consent to being choked might not be aware they’re putting themselves at risk of memory loss, impacts to their problem-solving abilities, or brain damage. And to make matters worse, the more you engage in strangling, the worse these severe health impacts to the brain can become.
“What is perhaps most pressingly needed in this context is community education about strangulation, especially for young people in our communities who may not be aware of its very real and significant risks and dangers,” stated the report.
This lack of education had led to sexual violence experts creating the “Breathless” campaign, with the goal of informing young Australians of the unavoidable dangers of choking.
The campaign offers resources and information that informs people of the dangers of sexual strangulation, and how the issue can be raised with a partner or a friend.
How can you safely engage in choking during sex?
Sex and relationship expert for Lovehoney, Christine Rafe, said that though she advocates “curiosity and sexual exploration in all forms”, there is no such thing as “safe” choking.
“There really is no safe way to engage in actual choking, as any restriction of oxygen to your brain has the potential for accidental injury,” Rafe told PEDESTRIAN.TV.
“What I will say however, is that hands around the neck with no squeezing or restriction of the actual airways can feel naughty without any actual risk (this needs to be explicitly agreed to with verbal consent).
“Similarly, placing hands on someone’s collar bone near the neck, with light pressure and in the hand position of choking can also feel extremely erotic and almost mimic choking without the real element of restricted oxygen/blood flow.”
As well as her proposed method of mimicking the choking action without the danger, Rafe suggested asking yourself/your partner what the enjoyment of choking is.
Getting to the bottom of this answer might help to find other less dangerous — but still steamy! — acts for your To-Do list.
“Identify what feelings you’re looking for and then consider other ways you may be able to have sex where you experience the same feelings,” encouraged Rafe.
“There are lots of ways to explore power play and rough sex dynamics without actually restricting the supply of oxygen to your brain. For example, using handcuffs or other limb restraints (obviously with consent and a clear understanding of stop/no) can be another way to experience the feeling of restriction, power play and taboo without any risks associated with actual choking.”
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Help is available.
- If you require immediate assistance, please call 000.
- If you’d like to speak to someone about sexual violence, please call the 1800 Respect hotline on 1800 737 732 or chat online.
- Under 25? You can reach Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or chat online.
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