It's always exciting when you start talking to someone new. Those initial conversations are often filled with curiosity, as you try to get to know the person. But then, sometimes, out of nowhere, they say or do something that instantly makes you reconsider continuing the conversation altogether. Recently, someone online asked, "What was a red flag that made you stop talking to a person immediately?" And let’s just say, the responses were as eye-opening as they were intriguing. People shared their stories of those small but telling moments when they realized something wasn’t right. Continue reading and see if you'd have the same reaction or if you’d be able to deal with what others couldn't!
#1
I'm an alcoholic that's *pretty* jazzed about being sober now. You'd be surprised how many folks will pull out the "... and you don't think you could just get away with a drink or two after being sober this long?"
idk, but I never plan to find out and it's concerning that you feel the need to tempt me.
Image credits: Lemp_Triscuit11
#2
Had a guy tell me on a first date that he wasn’t further ahead in life because society is conspiring against white men.. I got the check QUICK.
Image credits: madfree101
#3
In high school my longtime crush finally started to reciprocate my feelings and we got to hanging out.
**That’s when he told me he and his buddies liked to ride their bikes, and swing baseball bats, as they chased terrified homeless people down**.
When he saw my horrified expression he was like “we don’t actually hit them! They just think we will. At worst we’ll throw brown paper bags full of dog s**t at them! Hahaha.”
That relationship lasted about half a day.
Image credits: _hootyowlscissors
Sometimes, a relationship might seem too perfect to be true. Imagine meeting someone online who seems like a dream: they’re kind, patient, and always know the right thing to say. Their messages make your heart skip a beat, and you can’t wait to meet them in person. But then, reality hits. You finally meet for coffee, and they’re rude to the staff, dismissive, or even condescending. Suddenly, something feels off, and that perfect image starts to crack.
It’s almost like a scene from a movie, the moment when the charming love interest reveals their true colors, and you realize they’re not who they seemed to be. While not every mismatch is this dramatic, certain red flags should never be ignored when looking for a partner. These warning signs can help you spot deeper issues before they turn into major problems.
#4
Back when I was about 15 and I was walking my gran’s new small rescue dog, saw a group of my friends, I knew including a slightly older boy I fancied.
I walk up and start chatting to the group talking about our new furry family member and his tragic history, and this lad I liked thought it would be the height of funny in that moment to lunge at the dog. He was nearly 6ft already at 17, and the dog was a small poodle. So the size difference from the perspective of that little dog must have been terrifying, especially considering the a**se he’d suffered.
The poor dog ran behind me shaking like a leaf and the lad was doubled over laughing his a*s off.
I’ve never hated someone so quickly and so intensely before or since.
I gave him a piece of my mind - which as a teen amounted to me shouting about what a total w****r he was and how I hoped he shrivelled and died. I never bothered speaking to him again, he phased out of the friend group soon after and I don’t know what happened to him.
Fortunately the dog was fine and over the course of a couple of years really developed his confidence with my gran, until he was 14 and passed peacefully in his sleep.
If by some alignment of the stars you read and remember this Dave, f**k you, you’re a w****r and I still hope you shrivelled up.
Image credits: Sharkoslotho
#5
Best friend from high school say volunteering to get the covid vaccine was the same as willingly getting on the train to a concentration camp, images and all. When I reminded him of my family's history with the H*******t and his post lacked some common sense, he doubled down and then some. Haven't spoken a word to him since.
Image credits: jimfish98
#6
This guy was disgusted by how "ugly" and "gross" a party host's newly rescued dog. The dog was emaciated and had patchy fur from starvation and neglect. Instant rejection from the sphere of people I want to have in my life.
Image credits: salty-lemons
#7
Saying autism is not real, it's caused by bad parents and vaccines.
#8
She insulted my job, while not having one, and made fun of my hobbies, all while I was letting her stay at my place for a few months rent free.
Image credits: drifters74
#9
I had a friend that I grew up with, played on the same teams, our parents were friends, we were in each other’s weddings. He was in the police academy and came over to the house one night during that time and said “Ya know, I thought I wanted to be a cop so I could serve and protect, really help people, ya know? Now I realize it’s so I can drive really fast, carry a gun, and beat people up”
He also went on a rant about how all homeless people should be rounded up and buried/thrown under the jail and disposed of.
We never spoke again after that day.
Image credits: anon
Psychologist Judith Klenter shares her insights in an article for Open Up. “A red flag is any behavior that signals a (potential) partner may not be the right fit for you. This could be something as subtle as someone bringing up their ex constantly on a first date or something more serious like controlling tendencies.”
Judith also highlights that some red flags are universally problematic. “There are warning signs that should be taken seriously by everyone. This includes violent behavior, extreme jealousy, controlling tendencies, or any actions that suggest manipulation or emotional abuse,” she explains. These are not just minor annoyances, they are major indicators that something is wrong.
#10
Found out I was pregnant with my current partner and we mutually decided we would not keep it. We’re on the wrong side of 35 and can’t afford it.
His “best friend” looked me dead in the eye and asked
“Do all women do this early in relationships, think they’re pregnant to keep their men?”
Positive p**s and blood tests and the need for a medical procedure I never wanted to endure, but sure, I’m just making this all up to keep my partner.
I’d kept my mouth shut on his flat earth theories until then but that was the last straw.
Image credits: anon
#11
I worked with a woman at a part time job in a satellite office and at first I really liked her. She was friendly and funny. One day she started talking about the Boston bombing and several school shootings being hoaxes…her diatribe lasted the rest of the shift and got increasingly nuts. The next time I was at the main office I let them know that I would not be working with her again.
Image credits: amosc33
#12
Told me that they wanted to drown someone at some point just to watch the life leave their eyes. Not anyone in particular. Just wanted to experience murdering someone, specifically through drowning.
I noped out of there as fast as I possible could.
Image credits: EnigmaFrug2308
When you first start dating, it’s easy to see your partner through rose-colored glasses. You might overlook obvious warning signs because everything feels exciting and new. But if you notice that they don’t keep their word, constantly making promises but never following through, that’s a big red flag. Actions always speak louder than words.
#13
An old buddy I used to work with stopped in to b******t.
When he started explaining that he learned you don't need a drivers license because the gov is a big corporation and we can renounce our spot and declare ourselves "freemen" I just gave up on him.
It's been around 5 yrs now.
Image credits: legendary_millbilly
#14
He said he had an "alpha" personality...yikes.
Image credits: Minute-Ad8501
#15
Met someone for a date. We went on a hike and I tripped over a log and fell on my hands, and they non-stop pointed and laughed at me hysterically for 5 minutes straight. Didn't offer to help me up, offer any consolation, just laughed in my face for 5 minutes. Kept bringing it up the rest of the hike how stupid I looked falling and laughing again.
Image credits: beartheminus
Another warning sign is when someone is overly controlling. If your partner constantly checks up on you, demands to know your whereabouts, or tries to dictate your choices, it’s time to take a step back. Healthy relationships are built on trust, not control.
Narcissistic behavior can be tricky to identify at first. These individuals often seem confident and charming but over time, they reveal their true nature. If someone always makes everything about themselves, dismisses your feelings, or lacks empathy, these are major red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.
#16
I dated a girl for a short while who quickly started alluding to me being the love of her life. She then all of a sudden said she needed to "find herself" and said we should break up. I told her I had fun, thanked her for her time and went on my way. Not even two days later she called me crying asking "That's it!? You're not even going to try to chase me!? Did I mean so little to you!? I can't believe what a heartless jerk you are!". Nope... Got out of there but not without a plethora of other calls and messages and unfortunate happenings.
#17
I was at a gathering and somehow Keanu Reeves came up in conversation. I mentioned how humble and selfless of a person he seemed in interviews. Just an all around good person. The person I was talking with responded: "Too bad he's an atheist and is going to hell." That was it for me. I walked away.
Image credits: LivValkyrie
#18
I was with someone for a couple of months and it all fell apart in a matter of minutes when he sent me a voice note complaining about the fact that I was depressed and had been for too long (at this point it had been two weeks that I’d fallen into a pit) and that my depression was making him feel depressed, and that I lied to him about who I was when we met because I wasn’t in a depression pit at the time that we met, I noped the f**k out of that situation instantly…surprisingly, the relief I felt actually helped me feel a bit better.
Image credits: PM_ME_YOUR_DOGSNCATS
Emotional support is a cornerstone of any strong relationship. If your partner downplays your struggles, invalidates your feelings, or refuses to be there for you during tough times, it’s a sign that they might not be the right person for you. You deserve someone who uplifts you, not someone who makes you feel like your emotions don’t matter.
#19
Cat died in my arms. I adored him. I told a friend I made in a college class and he shrugged and said “it’s just a cat”. Never spoke to him again.
Image credits: LastNameWrynn
#20
I told a guy I only had time for a coffee date because I had a study group to attend. He kept trying to extend again and again and eventually asked if I would go "watch a movie" at his place. I said uhh no, I have to leave now and he knocked on my car window so I'd roll it down, then refused to let go of the top of the glass. I had to pull away slowly with him still holding on.
Study group laughed their asses off when I told them why I was late. He didn't get a second date.
Image credits: thetiredninja
#21
Friend of mine told me she was having an affair with a guy who provides “intimidation” for a criminal organization. Said she didn’t know that about him when the affair began. She implied that it wouldn’t be safe for her to dump him. After hanging up the phone I said to myself, “Stay away from her.”.
Image credits: DWright_5
Gaslighting is another toxic behavior that can creep into relationships. If your partner constantly makes you doubt your own memories, feelings, or perceptions, telling you that you’re "overreacting" or "imagining things," they may be gaslighting you. This is a manipulative tactic designed to make you feel powerless, and it’s never okay.
#22
When I meet someone and they make fun of someone’s looks or just focus on someone’s body/features too much. “She has a big x” so the f**k what? Why does that bother you? Who cares if someone is attractive to you or not? Like literally why does it matter or change your life at all? I know people in their 40s who still do this….. .
Image credits: anon
#23
Dated a woman who had no job and lived off of rental income from a single property. She told me she wanted to start a new business but had no savings and didn’t want to work. This was immediately after she told me she pissed away a 400k inheritance in a few years by traveling. I laughed and told her that was what jobs were for. I’m pretty slow most of the time but I’m pretty sure she wanted me to be the solution to that problem.
Image credits: createthiscom
#24
For me it was when a friend of mine would drink and expect my friends and I to drive her to and from hangouts. If we couldn't or refused, she would drive drunk. After a few times of enabling her, we all decided to give her an ultimatum. She essentially threw a fit, somehow got a hold of her keys, and drove 40+ minutes home and then texted us all a guilt ridden text when she got home that "she was hoping she would've died on the drive bc nobody cares about her blah blah blah".
She was also "the other woman" and would constantly talk about how fun and exciting it was.
This in addition to so many other things...
We all cut her out after that after years of dealing with her s**t.
Image credits: loveITorLEAVEitIsay
A major red flag is when someone tries to isolate you from friends and family. If your partner discourages you from spending time with loved ones or makes you feel guilty for maintaining other relationships, this is a serious problem. A loving partner should support your connections, not try to sever them.
#25
My coworker told me he knew his wife was having a seizure at work. Drove to her job (retail/grocery) asked where she was they told him she hadn’t shown up. So he knew she was in her car but he decided to shop around a lil bit before finding her. By the time he got out to her car someone else had called an ambulance and was helping her. I haven’t been able to look at him the same.
Image credits: Cheap-World3227
#26
Met a guy at the gym and invited him to hang out with my friends later on that week at the bar. He seems totally normal. Later at the bar we're talking and he drops an incredibly racist joke out of nowhere. Stops the conversation dead in its tracks and we all look at him and noone says anything or laughs. He mumbles something about us being too sensitive and didn't say much the rest of the night. Haven't talked to or seen him since.
Image credits: dropofred
#27
When they used me as an alibi for cheating on their spouse.
Image credits: FantasticPear
These are just a few of the biggest red flags that should never be ignored in a relationship. Just like in these posts, sometimes people walk away when they realize the warning signs are too strong to ignore. Have you ever encountered a red flag that made you rethink a relationship? What’s the biggest red flag in your book?
#28
They got arrested for inappropriately touching a 12 year old girl.
#29
He tried to force himself on me by attempting to put his hands down my pants and kiss me. i told him no and he looked at me dead in the eyes and said “people don’t refuse me”. the “best” part is that i drove us.
edit: so when were at the bowling alley for our date when he did that, he got mad at me and demanded i take him home and i said okay. the entire time we drove he didn’t say a thing to me. when i got to his place he just exited the car and kinda slammed the door. he never texted me after that. i was so confused but relieved.
Image credits: Kochcaine995
#30
Had a friend who is bipolar. He received a restraining from a girl. He started talking online to a female friend of mine. She told me she was feeling uncomfortable. I told him to leave her alone and he said no and I couldn't tell him what to do. I pretty much ended the friendship right there. I think he's doing better now but I refuse to be friends with him again.
Image credits: pendletonskyforce
#31
I went on a date with this girl who got visibly angry at the fact I hadn't seen a few movies like Reservoir Dogs. I thought she was joking for about 30 seconds, I ended up leaving and losing her number.
Image credits: Cichlidsaremyjam
#32
Homophobia. My friend didn’t mind at all at first but as soon as I got a girlfriend she started to tell me how I deserve to be burned alive… Never blocked someone so fast.
#33
Someone always putting you down as a “joke”. A like a self deprecating joke or two but when someone is constantly doing it specifically towards you, they’re not your friend.
#34
They launch into an endless diatribe of political conspiracies that I find nauseating. Okay, I’m an old white Boomer from the south. That doesn’t mean I agree with your racist b******t fascism.
Y’all pissing me off. I got s**t to do.
#35
Someone being s****y to the wait staff the first (and last) time we hung out.
Image credits: tbri001
#36
Racism.
#37
My dog didn't like him. My dog liked everyone up until that point.
#38
I was once seeing this guy but after a couple of dates I wasn't too sure I could see myself going any further with him so we gradually started to chat less.
I worked in a bar at the time and a couple of weeks after he came into my place of work on an incredibly busy shift and decided to confess that he wanted to move forward into a relationship. I was in the midst of serving customers and waiting on tables and he took it upon himself to try and stop me from doing my job until I told him that I wanted to be with him. Of course, I did not do this. My manager witnessed the whole thing and was highly unimpressed with the whole situation. He brought his 2 friends who were incredibly rude and sexists to my female co-workers.
I had absolutely no time for someone who interfered with my job and associated with people who spoke to women (or anyone for that matter) in such a demeaning way.
#39
Guy at work said, "You can't blame a man for going after them when they're in their prime." When someone mentioned they heard some of Diddys victims were as young as twelve.
#40
When they reveal that they enjoy any type of Cruelty against animals.
#41
This guy I'd meet for coffee for "mentoring" I figured out was just a liar. Not even about important stuff, just dumb random things. Was super easy to notice, and was insulting that he'd think I was that gullible.
Image credits: anon
#42
Not listening to what i'm saying.
#43
A person tried to demand that I respond to a certain event in a certain way. She could not entertain the idea that, since I've had a different life experience, I respond to certain situations differently. Basically, everyone should think just like her.
#44
I have an older (15 years old) car that I am emotionally attached to. It is not rusty or dirty, I take great care of it and everything works on it. It looks pretty good for its age and so far it has never let me down. I can afford a newer one but I don’t care to upgrade it. Especially since there is nothing wrong with it. It is a great indicator for first dates. Most people will give a playfully worded comment but others will be so rude about it.
#45
Back in the day, I played softball all over the midwest. Major hobby. Ifykyk.
Met a guy at some small leagues and we were friendly. Contacted each other about playing some tournaments etc.
One day he invites me back up to play with him on a team in Minneapolis for some big all nighter tourney. He said we'd go up, smoke a couple "foilies" on Friday and still be wired on Monday. I'd never heard the term.
It was m**h. He wanted to smoke m**h.
#46
Had a childhood friend who I’m pretty sure is a bit autistic. Social cues are definitely not his thing. One day he just randomly tells me he has a micro p***s and wanted to know if I would pity f**k him so he wouldn’t have to die a virgin. I said no and we moved on with our lives. A couple years later he turned into this raging incel-type hard right ultra conservative religious guy who randomly messaged me one day saying he wasn’t sure he could stay friends with someone who’d had a child out of wedlock but he’d stick around to be nice. I blocked him and haven’t spoken to him since.
#47
She was an alcoholic and only wanted to hang out when she was drinking and would just want to get drunk and then she would go bat s**t crazy. Nicole I’m talking about you, get some f*****g help.
#48
We moved to a new city and met one of our new neighbours. She started out so nice and then found out I was Canadian. The second she heard that it was, "Oh you must be so relieved to get away from the socialist healthcare."
It made the conversation come to a full stop. Then I laughed, said no, and walked away. She has since then proven to be absolutely insane (one of our neighbours has a restraining order on her). So I'm glad I didn't go further into being a friendly chatty neighbour!
#49
I used to live in the country about 30 miles outside of the city. I had a very, very good friend for about 10 years. My gf and I moved into the city and my contact with him became less and less and I gained a new circle of friends that lived in the same apartments as I did.
One weekend I was going to visit my parents and he found out I would be there and came over to the house. I was happy to see him since it had been a minute. Well I had taken one of my newer friends with me. I'm a white dude and my friend I took with me is a black dude.
The three of us are standing by my car having a normal conversation when out of nowhere my old friend says to my new friend. "I have never dated any of your kind but I gotta say your kind sure do make some pretty women"
That was the end of that conversation and the last time I spoke to that guy. That was probably 20 years ago.
#50
Showed up to a girls house to pick her up for the first date and she was so drunk she could hardly stand up and was slurring her words really bad. Decided to just leave since there was no way I was taking this girl to a restaurant. She begged me to either stay or take her home with me and I said no thanks. She staggered her way outside screaming and cussing as I drove away. Got an apology text the next day but never responded.
#51
This has happened with more than one person...but...
1. Made plans to hang out or for them to come over.
2. I've learned a lot of people are trash at communication so I follow up an hour in advance to make sure things are still going smooth.
3. Couldn't get a hold of them, they never show and never tell me they won't make it.
4. Insta-banned from my life.
(Also never followed up with me later to say why they ghosted).
#52
Lying about me to others.
#53
Met a girl online that absolutely love bombed me after a few weeks of texting. A while after it started she tried to pressure me to cut ties with my family and throw away a great job opportunity. Guilt tripped the f**k out of me, said I was the worst human ever while somehow also being the sole reason she was still alive. Said I absolutely must move to her city (literally on the other side of the continent) while she could stay at her boyfriends home. (Hadn't known until then that she had a bf.)
I would've probably ended up as a mutilated corpse in the woods of bumfucknowhere, without my peers knowing about my whereabouts. Thankfully the whole convo gave me the f*****g chills and I was able to cut the contact immediately.
Nowadays if someone shows me even the slightest bit of affection it instantly triggers a hardcore fight or flight response. So... Thanks for that, I guess. :/.
#54
I stop talking to people when they start gossiping about others. Because I know I will be the next person they talk about.
#55
An acquaintance said she was sexting a guy that she knew was in a relationship, and blamed it on how she was going through a rough time in life.
I was just like ???
