Psychological research suggests that stable and healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity. However, in order to form one, we need to see a person in different situations. Only then will we get a better understanding of their character, values, and how they fit our lives.
Interested in the process, Reddit user eCatherineCollective asked everyone on the platform to share their biggest "I really thought I knew them" moments. And people responded — as of now, the post has over 2.8K comments. So to save you some time, we compiled the most memorable ones!
#1
I dated a guy for a year (we'd been good friends some years prior) who was very smart and studied rocket science (I studied material engineering). We wrote a 100 paper together on new rocket models for a research contest and did aprox 50/50 of the work together. He lived in a big city and I lived further away, so I asked him to go hand in the printed copy to the university that organized the contest.
Some weeks later, he told me he'd been to the uni to ask about our paper's status and told me we hadn't been selected for the contest so I trusted him and we went out on a "compensation dinner". A few weeks later, I saw that little b***h on the university's instagram doing a speech on our work. He presented OUR work with only his name and erased my credits. We'd actually been selected and he got a diploma and a prize for our work, and I was only mentioned in the "agreements" page alongside his family for providing "emotional support"
Edit to add: he broke up with me and kinda ghosted me a few days before the speech
Edit 2 since I thought it was obvious: I'm doing stuff to take him to court if the university doesn't solve it but it's a slow process
Update: GUYS THEY TOOK AWAY HIS DIPLOMA!! :) The bad thing though is that they're thinking of disqualifying our work as a whole and leave us both with nothing, but I'd rather have nothing than him having an award and not me.
Image credits: rock-mommy
#2
This happened back in June. I went to Europe with my family for two weeks. A friend of mine told me she’d watch my dogs and cat. I get home and find out that she hadn’t been there in days. They had no water, no food and one of my pups has severe allergies and she hadn’t given her her medications. She had literally eaten herself raw. She was missing tuffs of hair and had sores everywhere.
Suffice to say, we’re not friends anymore. Oh! Forgot about the best part. I payed her $400 to take care of them and instead, she spent that money on alcohol, weed, everything but my dogs.
I’ve never hated someone so much.
Image credits: kbrown423
#3
I met a guy in college. We were both dating other people at the time, so we would hang out together instead of going out to parties and getting wasted. He was my safe buddy, always a gentlemen. We stayed friends for 7 years, but were always dating other people. Finally, we were both single at the same time! We talked every day and decided that I would take a week off work and fly cross country to see him. My flight ended up being diverted to DC instead of Philly. He told me to take the train up and he'd pay me back for the train ride. So I've now spent $600+ for flight, $120 for a train, and I'm losing about $1000 taking off a week from work. I get to 30th street station.... and he doesn't pick up his phone.... and he didn't pick up his phone for 5 days!!! He left me stranded at the train station, even though we had been texting all day! I cried, I panicked, I called a girlfriend from college who was able to pick me up/house me for the week. When I finally reached him, I laid into him. What kind of person does that?! All he said was, "idk what to tell you, people suck, lesson learned." WTF??!? After 7 years! Guess I didn't know him after all.... F**k you Sean!!
Image credits: NoRoots4Me
#4
Turned up at a party. A buddy of mine was there. Body builder. (He was taking steroids at the time) Door security at a rough Liverpool club. Hard bloke that you would not want to get the wrong side of.
He was wearing a charming dress, impeccable make up & drinking a cocktail.
Image credits: Shashi2005
#5
Ex wife now, married for 14 years when she acts suspicious. Note: wife paid all our bills because she “was better than me at that stuff”. I know it’s not an affair (no missing time) but can’t figure it out. 3 months later I confront her, she denies acting differently. She won’t let me answer the home phone and we get 5-7 “wrong numbers a night” can’t check the mail because she runs to the curbside box. I take a vacation day from work and she calls in sick so I’m never alone at home.
Finally I arrange a vacation day and don’t tell her. I pretended to go to work, she went to work then I came home. Oh BOY! All the “wrong number calls”? Bill collectors for credit cards I didn’t have. Same with the mail. My ex took FIVE credit cards out in my name without my knowledge. Total debt of $60K in my name. My personal bank account was wiped out as was her 401K. Couldn’t jail her because we had an adoptive daughter who was glued to her hip and therapist recommended against separating the two. At bankruptcy I discovered she also had $80k in unpaid student loans. In the end, she took cash advances to pay the lawyer who defended her child rapist son. A crime we both knew he was guilty of and agreed not to pay his bail or lawyer. Yea, he was convicted and our family destroyed. Now I don’t call her my ex but my Y. She’s my Y wife as in why did I marry that trash?
Image credits: CommonTaytor
#6
I’ll post something actually positive since everything else here is really depressing. I was really good friends with this guy in high school. We did every group project together and we hung out a lot after school. We were totally different people on the surface, but we worked together really good as friends. After high school we kind of just drifted apart. He didn’t go to college and I did and we just lost contact after a while. Next time I saw this person she was a woman. We’re back talking again and now we’re friends again. I just had no idea back then that she was trans, not even really sure if she knew. It’s funny because the same thing had happened with my friend who used to be my neighbor. He is a little older than me and his family moved out when I was in middle school. When I was a freshman and he was a senior we were in the same class and when the teacher was doing roll call I heard (man’s name, last name of my old neighbor) “here”. I asked if he was related to my old neighbor (woman’s name, last name). He said “Yeah I remember you and that was me”.
Image credits: anon
#7
This is a funny "how did I not know this about you" moment.
Several years ago, I was flipping around on the television and came across something or other about the band Disturbed. Just like that, out of nowhere, my husband started basically giving me a biography of every member of the band, as though it was all common knowledge.
We had been together about ten years at this point, and I had no idea he even liked Disturbed, much less knew so much about them. He'd literally never talked about it before! Surprised the heck out of me!
Image credits: EducatedOwlAthena
#8
A guy I was kinda irregularly working with for 2-3 years as a student (we'd meet once a week in a café to talk through some project related issues) was one day wanted by Interpol. Turned out he invited a random language teacher to his flat and decapitated her.
Image credits: Aglot_
#9
A religious girl in high school who always wore a modest dress and behaved in a repressed manner went on to be a competitive body builder.
Image credits: bebopbrain
#10
In college, I was close friends (I thought) with a girl for a couple of years. We were supposed to go see Schindler's List together, but she went with her boyfriend instead. I was hurt, but asked her how it was. She was like, "It was okay, except that it tried to make the Holocaust look like it was a bad thing." I was like, "?!?!?!?" Turns out not only did she hate Jews, she also thought Black people were inferior to whites. I had no idea!
Image credits: SuLiaodai
#11
Ex husband decided that if he wasn’t a “husband” any longer, he wasn’t going to be a “father” either. He hasn’t tried to see his kids in 2 years. Hasn’t paid one dime of child support. Never saw it coming. He was my best friend and even through we were separating, I never in a million years would have thought he wouldn’t see his kids anymore.
Image credits: Bellarinna69
#12
During the pandemic I was surprised to learn some of my friends were anti vax, anti mask, anti government fanatics.
Image credits: Goodygumdops
#13
Close friends with a man for almost 10 years. He wanted more, I didn't. He is now incarcerated as a serial killer.
Image credits: rebecca44434
#14
My husband rolled over and went back to sleep after I got a call saying my Dad was dead in the hospital. Had to drive myself. Always thought he'd step up when I needed him in the ways I stepped up for him. Turns out 'I should have asked.' ?.
#15
My ex's best friend stopped talking to her on a dime. I thought it was strange, but the best friend wasn't the most stable person.
Two happy years of our relationship later, I found out why - she got drunk with the bff and admitted that her endometriosis, the illness around which we organized our lives, was just... made up. Fictitious. Done for attention. We went to fundraisers and awareness events. She was pretty well known as a vocal activist. She'd had exploratory surgery to find adhesions; perhaps unsurprisingly, nothing was found.
Suddenly a lot of little things clicked into place. I corroborated a few things, contacted some people about this and that, and every suspected lie was backed up by the testimony of something. Took me a couple of days, but I worked up the gumption to toss her a*s. No asking questions, no hearing her side, just tossed her aside.
Zero f*****g regrets.
Image credits: ibiacmbyww
#16
When my parents divorced, my dad introduced his girlfriend to my sister and me, A DAY LATER.
IT obviously meant he was cheating on my mom. I never forgave him for it.
Image credits: nonameuser21
#17
Dated the son of my favorite teachers in hs. Everyone absolutely loved them, they were always involved in school events and class trips.
One day I noticed these horrible scars on his back. These parents beat the s**t out of him.
#18
I called my husbands best friend pleading for help for his addiction that I thought just started about a year before. This friend lives on the opposite side of the country and grew up with him. I tell him about the situation and he goes “oh s**t he’s into that again”
AGAIN?
I had no idea. I thought I knew this man through and through. We were best friends for 8 years before we even started dating. We are now divorced. Safe to say I have some trust issues.
Image credits: mholly2240
#19
I thought I knew my parents until I had my own kids.
Now I feel like they're just people who were in the house while I was growing up a lot of the time.
Image credits: LordyIHopeThereIsPie
#20
My childhood bestfriend. First time we met was the day after I was born. Years went by until I was like 16 and I realized she has been spreading rumors about me, using me as the ugly friend and in general using me to get what she wanted from life. Ngl was very sad when I realized how narcissistic she acctually is.
Image credits: bak_bak-chicken
#21
I was with my partner for 15 years. We were highschool sweethearts.
One day out of nowhere he started this fight with me. A fight big enough to make him suggest to stay at a friends house for a night to cool off. The fight was over me buying a male coworker gummy bears.
The night turned into a week.
He blocked my phone and I was unable to reach him.
He came back in the middle of the night to grab things and told me he wanted to break up.
I was so confused and felt blindsided.
I ended up finding out he was in a 10 year relationship with a girl he met on like a role play discord server. he was living a double life. When I would go to sleep at night he would be on the phone with her.
He flew out to get engaged to her the week he blocked me.
The kicker is she was married when they got engaged. this was a year ago. she is still married and my ex is still in a relationship with her.
Edited to add:
* I did speak to the husband over the phone (he lives in Texas and I’m in Pennsylvania). He asked me to send proof. I sent him texts and screenshots. Six months after I talked to him he caught my ex in his house via cameras in his garage when he was out of town. This was July and he is still living with her and married.
*they originally met on gaia online and then their relationship moved to discord.
Image credits: Impossible-Ad9073
#22
My dad drove my brother's motorcycle home when my brother learned to drive it the first time. The motor was brand new and he drove it so smoothly that our siblings were shocked. Turns out, he has driven countless motors back then, even the cruiser.
He was the classic nerd when he met my mom.
Image credits: 216gayterminator
#23
My best friend of 8 years told me I was “too much” to deal with because of my mental illness. I had supported her through breakups and her own mental health issues. It was incredibly hurtful and I don’t know that I’ll ever recover from the rejection, almost a year later and it hurts.
#24
My mum. I thought she loved me, I thought she had basic empathy for people. Recently she caused something extremely traumatic to happen to me and my sister to gain back some of the control she lost when my sister decided to date someone out of our culture. And she has no remorse at all. All that matters to her is gaining control.
Everyone told me that my mum controls us because she loves and worries for us but it's clear now she is deeply mentally ill and does not feel empathy for people. Understanding this, I look back at the past 19 years of interactions I've had with her. There are many moments she had pretended to be vulnerable, understanding and loving as one of the many tactics she used to gain what she wants and I bought it. She would allow me to trust her and confide in her and later weaponize that information, idk why it took me so long to realize.
I don't know this person. She is a brilliant actress who stops at nothing to get what she wants. I don't love her anymore and I wouldn't feel a thing if I was to attend her funeral tomorrow.
Image credits: Icy_Piglet_4847
#25
My sister has always been selfish. She was spoiled terribly by my parents. It seemed as if things were better as she grew up and had her own family. She called me upset because her son’s Cub Scout pack was accusing her of stealing money. She claimed they were terrible at keeping accurate spending records and she could prove that and that she in fact helped them get the books straight.
She lied. She stole 10K from children because she thought no one would notice. She’s a terrible human and I went no contact eventually.
Image credits: KingsRansom79
#26
My best friend from childhood. Every year, his dad would have a huge get-together on his property up in cottage country. Everyone would set up trailers and tents, and we'd spend the week fishing, boating, off-roading shooting, drinking and doing d***s, and altogether have a great time.
Anyway, one year, my friend says he doesn't want to go up because he has no money. Now, our families have been friends for years, so I'm welcome to go with or without him, but he's my best friend and it wouldn't be as fun if he didn't come, so I offered to cover his costs.
I bought the train tickets for there and back. I bought all of our food and alcohol for the week. Then I gave him $200 cash for general spending money.
I was very clear about what I expected, "I'll cover all of the expenses, don't worry about any of it. But pay me back the $200 cash when you have it."
He spends it all pretty quickly and asks me for more. I give him another $200 and repeat it. "Pay me back the cash I give you. You owe me $400". He says it's not a problem, a reletive of his had passed recently, and he was going to get around $8k from her will.
We had a great time, and a few weeks went by. I had been pretty busy with college and hadn't spoken to him much in that time, but I knew he had gotten his inheritance.
Anyways I pop by his place to hang out, and his room is decked out with all this great new stuff. Brand new top of the line gaming computer, desk, chair, mouse, keyboard, gigantic monitor. He's got a bunch of new brand name clothing, a new Playstation, a new TV, etc.
He's showing me all this awesome new stuff. It's great. Eventually, I asked him if he had the $400 that I loaned him, and he starts acting all cagey.
"It was my understanding you were covering all of the costs."
"Except for the cash. I told you to pay me back the cash I gave you. "
"I recall differently."
So, I repeated our whole first conversation when I offered to help him.
"I recall differently."
I repeat our conversation when he asked for more and told me about his inheritance coming in.
"I recall differently."
This went back and forth, and he had nothing more to say other than he remembered differently than I did. Eventually, I just said whatever, regardless of what he remembered, I spent a lot of money covering costs for both of us for that week. Can he pay me back some of that money, especially now that he recently received $8k.
"I don't have any left, I spent it all,"
I had never spent a single penny on him from that moment since. Never paid for a pizza, never gave him a dollar for bus fare, never let him bum a cigarette or a beer. That was the beginning of the end of our friendship. It lasted a couple of years longer, but it was a long downhill ride.
#27
Bestfriend 15yrs ago, paid for us to move to Colorado together, literally paid for everything, soon as we were settled into a place he tells me he's always hated me and knew I had resources he could take advantage of. Colorado was his idea, but he sold it so well... Also, we had countless times hanging out, laughs, having each others backs, there was never a reason to question this being my bestfriend. We never fought either. That was a tough one.
Image credits: piranhaNurbutt
#28
My best friend from high school playing league of legends with me on a Wednesday night and laughing talking like normal and then the next day getting a call from my other high school friend who is now a cop informing me that they found my best friend in his apartment with his wrist slit and hanging from the ceiling fan.
His mom, girlfriend, sister, uncle, myself, our other buddies, his co-workers. We’re either all really s****y people and didn’t pickup on the signs or there were none. I still don’t know wtf.
#29
A friend from middle school was killed in a home invasion. He was the burglar.
#30
I had a friend of 18 years overdose. None of us knew he did d***s. He didn't even smoke cigarettes. It was beyond shocking.
Image credits: BitterBeans
