It’s a great idea to record family stories from grandparents and older relatives, and it’s easy to do.
Grandparents occupy a unique place in the family as some of the oldest, most experienced relatives, often helping out with childcare (it’s better for the brain than Sudoku, apparently!) and offering valuable words of wisdom and life lessons for younger family members. With five different categories of grandparent, each grandparent is unique, so it’s important to keep their memories alive and keep sharing those precious family stories.
But how can you do so? Well, Dr Jay Prosser, who teaches the Telling Lives: Reading and Writing Family Memoir module at the University of Leeds, has told Everything Zoomer of five ways to help keep memories of grandparents alive.
1. Don’t delay. Many of us wait too long to learn about our family history, but there’s no time like the present to find out more. Even if you want to find out more about a great-grandfather you never met, for example, he might have surviving siblings or cousins who could provide some really fascinating insights.
2. Come equipped. Don’t be afraid to buy some audio recording equipment. If you only record your relative’s voice rather than film them, they might feel more comfortable – and allow you to concentrate on what they’re saying.
Transcribe the record, and think about uploading the files to a cloud server or a website for added security.
3. Research before you go. Find out as much as you can before you interview your relative. Brush up on the times they lived through and the places they went. Do they have any old passports, birth certificates, or other documents they’d be happy for you to take a look at?
4. Consider your questions. You don’t want to bring out a sheet of questions – decide on and familiarise yourself with what you want to ask, and be prepared for surprises in the answers! Even if you’re interviewing your own children’s grandparents and you think you know your parents or in-laws inside out, they might surprise you.
Try to ask open questions if you can, too, and listen out for the silences and pauses, as these can also tell you a lot.
5. Be ethical. Sure, interviewing your parents for family stories might not be the same as interviewing somebody for work or for a scientific study, but it’s important to share your transcript with them, let them make changes, and ensure they’re happy with their story.
Tailor your approach to your interviewee – the way you approach an interview with a parent who’s 65 or 70 might be different to how you approach one with a grandparent in their nineties, for example. And, be prepared for tears – both yours and theirs – as this can be quite a moving experience for everyone involved.
In related news, nearly half of the grandparent-aged generation has never been asked for advice, according to a study, while grandparents need to stop saying these 10 ‘well-meaning’ phrases to their grandkids. And, grandparents are living longer and families are becoming 'more vertical', research finds.
