Detroit has always held a place in the American mythos as the embodiment of toughness, grit and resilience. Every American-made car commercial is basically some version of the sentence before this one. That toughness is embodied perfectly in a certain Detroit landmark that has suddenly reached national prominence: the Giant Slide at Belle Isle. Built in the 1960s, the Giant Slide was once an attraction known only to the children of Detroit who climbed 40 feet into the sky overlooking the US-Canada border to brave its metallic fury in a burlap sack. After years of being closed down for safety reasons, the slide reopened last week and immediately became a social media sensation as riders proved exactly why the slide had been closed for safety reasons.
The slide closed four hours later and reopened after adjustments were made, slowing down the speed of the slide and thus ruining most of the fun for spectators. After a thorough analysis of the footage obtained before the slide was “fixed”, we at FTW have determined the top five Giant Slide highlights so far and present them to you here.
WARNING: All stunts are performed by people with no idea what they are doing — please do not attempt.
5. "That was not good"
The giant slide at Belle Isle Park in Michigan was open for only 4 hours before workers shut it down to make adjustments.
I wonder why they decided to do such a thing 😳 pic.twitter.com/q7jpFdLdAO
— Art (@artcombatpod) August 19, 2022
As far as we can tell, this is the video that first brought the Giant Slide into the national spotlight, and it’s easy to see why. A perfect straight-on angle gives us a clear view of five different sliders, each clearly becoming airborne on the second hill. The clanging of bone on metal reverberates throughout and we finish with the perfect review from one of the sliders: “That was not good”. The stage is set for the next four hours of pain.
4. Oh no
🤭UhOh😐..#Detroit.. Belle Isle Giant Slide pic.twitter.com/e88tszzKVS
— NoPauseTv (@NoPauseTv_) August 20, 2022
This video really shows just how giant the Giant Slide really is. Forty feet is a long way down, especially if the descent includes banging your head/elbows/butt on a metal surface three to four times over the course of the journey. The spectating parents are beginning to become concerned.
3. "Giant Slide is out of pocket"
I don’t remember the Giant Slide being this slick 😂😂😂😂 #Detroit #giantslide #belleisle pic.twitter.com/sgEb5X9JOX
— 🌹Lucia🌹 (@skighsrain) August 19, 2022
One of the interesting things about the Giant Slide is that gravity seems to vary by the minute. The sliders in the previous videos certainly got some air, but in this video they seem to come so far off the slide after that second bump that they very nearly skip the next one. The videographer sums up what he’s just seen perfectly in his comments at the end of the video. Onlookers are now becoming equal parts amused and concern. Still we watch. Still we laugh.
2. Aftermath
That slide in Detroit has me laughing so hard 😂 why do people keep going down it 😂 pic.twitter.com/9iZblqWaXm
— THIQUE AF (@KellySlayAnn) August 21, 2022
The slide has clearly been open for a while by the time this video is being filmed. The sliders appear to be bracing themselves for pain and yet they remain stunned. What sticks out about this video is that it lingers on the sliders after they reach the bottom, rolling around, holding their backs. I’m reminded of a scene in Jordan Peele’s NOPE after a group of bystanders have realized the terrible mistake they’ve made. The spectacle is simply too intriguing to resist.
1. The Shoe
They closed it for a reason y’all 😭
(via timbrown696/TT) pic.twitter.com/tmTqQfm1gz— Overtime (@overtime) August 22, 2022
Nowhere is the exquisite combination of joy and pain more perfectly represented than this slider losing her shoe halfway down the slide. The single shoe, not beholden to the same forces of gravity as the humans, continues its journey skyward as its owner continues to clamber down. The slider slams onto the slide twice in the time it takes for the shoe to return to Earth. This one deserves a second angle and thankfully we have one.
Footage from today. They fixed the big slide 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/W4WSVyohYr
— pat313 (@Pat313_) August 22, 2022
Like the mythical Icarus, Detroiters may have flown too close to the sun with the reopening of the Giant Slide at Belle Isle. Ultimately, they were always going to have to come back down to earth, whether through the forces of gravity or the adjustments later made to the slide to prevent further videos like these with potentially worse endings. But for one brief moment, they soared. Just like the shoe.
