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Rugilė Žemaitytė

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality

For better or for worse, real life is very far removed from the narratives that entertain us in movies, books, and video games. Fiction is often logical, internally consistent, and dramatic. Reality is rather messy, convoluted, and frustratingly confusing. At times, society promotes ideas that might seem great on the surface but are very toxic once you look at them closer.

Case in point, the r/AskReddit community shared its thoughts about all the things that it wished people would stop romanticizing, from burnout and overwork culture to being a ‘starving artist’ and more. You’ll find their eerily insightful thoughts below. Don’t forget to upvote the opinions you agree with, Pandas.

#1

War.

SlugpartySausages: When I was a kid in the eighties it was often said there would likely be another world war when the WW2 veterans die out. People with no direct link to the horrors of war underestimate the terrible cost to everybody involved. Seems like there was truth in this prediction.

Image credits: Specialist-Way-648

#2

"Overcoming" disabilities. I'm not overcoming s**t, I'm just trying to f*****g ***live.***.

Image credits: RJSnea

#3

Trad wives. There is no historical precident for "trad wives" It was few deades after a world war at best. Traditionally women have worked along side men doing everything from farming, running businesses, working in factories or as servants and slaving all the hours of the day, much like men did just to survive. Unless you were very rich everyone worked.

Image credits: wwaxwork

Romanticizing something essentially means that you spin hardships in such a way as to make them appear worthwhile. There’s a promise of some sort of grand reward if only you see things through and stick it out despite all the pain. Let’s not be naive: nobody guarantees you rewards. Sometimes, things are just bad, and the pain isn’t worth it.

Take burnout as an example. It’s an incredibly common problem that affects employees globally, and it’s something that we see as a major issue with very far-reaching consequences. Burnout is often seen through rose-colored glasses as part of being a ‘hustler’ (read: an exhausted workaholic with poor boundaries). Burnout doesn’t just affect your health in the short and long term. It also leads to poor performance, worse results, and low job satisfaction. It’s a lose-lose situation for the employees and their employers.

Recent research from SHRM found that a whopping 44% of employees in the United States feel burned out at work. The mental health-focused research also found that 45% of respondents felt emotionally drained from their work. Furthermore, 51% reported feeling used up at the end of the workday.

#4

Hustling and overwork

Sacrificing sleep for the sake of 'hustling' or 'the grind' is being irresponsible, not proactive. Of course many people are forced to do it by circumstance but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

Image credits: dauntless91

#5

Thug/gangsta life styles. There's a reason these two words are considered bad. It's not something to strive towards. It's just violence and more violence. .

Image credits: chado5727

#6

Enabling toxic relatives because "family comes first".

Image credits: dd_phnx

Meanwhile, the Boston Consulting Group noted in a recent report that an average of 48% of desk-based workers from Australia, Canada, France, Germany, India, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States are currently grappling with burnout. One way to combat burnout (and the ensuing turnover!) rates is by making employees feel included, valued, respected, supported, and as though they belong.

Your relationship with work will depend a lot on your background, where you live, what company you’re employed at, how you handle your work/life balance, and how well you enforce healthy boundaries. While some employees are pressured to operate at maximum efficiency and be ‘on’ at all hours of the day, others push back against overwork to protect their physical and mental well-being.

#7

Having a baby to save their relationship. People romanticize having kids but the reality is it’s one of the hardest things on your relationship. Don’t bring a baby into a s****y relationship where it’s guaranteed they will end up with divorced parents.

Image credits: Turbulent-Run7089

#8

Celebrity billionaires and CEOs.

Alladin_Payne: Definitely the idea that if someone is a billionaire, they must be really smart and a natural great leader.

Image credits: avsdhpn

#9

Psychopaths/narcissists. They aren’t this brooding, hot, super competent person that you can change. They are toxic, will never have any real feelings for you, and will suck you dry as long as you let them.

Image credits: No-Material6891

At the end of the day, you can make requests for workplace culture improvements and should high standards for how businesses should treat their employees. However, unless you’re in an influential management or executive position, those key decisions are probably out of your control.

So, it falls to you and you alone to know what your boundaries are when it comes to (over)work. You also have to decide how you communicate them to your superiors and how you enforce them when (inevitably) someone crosses them.

#10

Sharing everything you do with your life in social media on daily basis.

#11

The wedding industry.

Image credits: QueenKittyMeowMeow

#12

ADHD!! I’m all in for normalizing it, but please don’t manic pixie dream girl us literally I’m just out here trying to function.

Image credits: Major_Run_6822

What do you personally think society romanticizes that only ends up harming anyone who believes the fairytale, dear Pandas? What’s your relationship with burnout and hustle culture? Do you see it as something glamorous or do you see past the illusion?

On the flip side, do you think there are any things that are romanticized for a good reason? We’d really like to hear your take. Drop by the comments to share a few thoughts.

#13

Lack of education.

aiwelcomecommitteee: Sad to say, being a complete moron is a common trope in American media. Jersey Shore, Kardashians.

There's a fight now in the states about educated elites versus country bumpkin. Both of those are stereotypes, but the rustic rural life gets romanticized as banjo music and buck teeth and not being able to count your toes.

Image credits: aiwelcomecommitteee

#14

Stalking.

lunarlandscapes: I think Twilight is actually a great example, I remember seeing a ton of teenage girls romanticizing that Edward kept talking to Bella even when she kinds rejected him. There's a huge amount of people who romanticize "not taking no for an answer" because the person is just so in love

Image credits: hiyac00lcat7685

#15

That not taking days off is a good thing.

No days off will surely be you burnout very quickly.

Image credits: jazztacos

#16

Giving birth without the help of pain medicine.

Image credits: ArcherEconomy1012

#17

Possessiveness in a romantic partner

Its not cute, its not a sign of how much they love you, it is a sign of abuse and either they need to cut it out or you need to cut them out (of your life, I am not advocating violence).

Image credits: icerobin99

#18

Cheating.

shontsu: Sure, but hear me out.

What if your partner is from the city and works an office job with a suit and tie, but you return home to your small hometown where you reconnect with your highschool sweet heart who wears flannel and rides horses?

Then its ok to cheat right? Because hallmark wouldn't lead us wrong.

Image credits: saylerthrift

#19

Drinking! It's actually so bad for you and yet everyone acts like it's the best thing ever.

Image credits: Mas_Basura

#20

Romeo and Juliet.

heili: Ah yes, a five day teen infatuation that results in seven deaths. Romantic. 

Image credits: Ok-Cheetah-9125

#21

Having the perfect clean cut home and matching a certain aesthetic to where people are calling out the husbands wanting add their stuff to the decor or to the rooms. It’s toxic. Your husband lives there too. Let him put up the dumb deer on the wall if he wants!

And romanticizing the overconsumption of seasonal products on social media platforms. You do not need the new hello kitty or grinch Christmas blanket every year.

#22

Bad mental health.

Image credits: UselessAndUnlovable

#23

Street fighting.

Someone can take a bad fall, hit their head on a curb or stairs and die right there.

As a lifelong martial artist I can tell you that people are very fragile.

It's not at all like the movies - even a fight you "win" can leave you with permanent injuries...like my missing front teeth.

Image credits: farvag1964

#24

Abusive relationships.

“Nobody is glorifying that!”

B******t. Does anyone else remember having to suffer through 2017 of immature couples pretending like Harley Quinn and Jared Leto Joker was hashtag couple goals?

Image credits: TheOtherJohnson

#25

Smoking

Someone told me he wanted to start smoking “for the aesthetic” not even a week ago.

Image credits: Bobbo_Blobbo

#26

Being a starving artist.

"Keep your day job." until you actually make it is excellent advice. Not the words of jealous naysayers like is often portrayed in Hollywood.

Image credits: CharonsLittleHelper

#27

That there is nobility in unrequired suffering. When youre a chronic pain patient, there is no nobility, youre just... existing. People do not want to be around someone in pain. It also doesnt make you a better person, more noble, none of that. Its useless suffering that doesnt serve a purpose. If your suffering does not serve a purpose to get something done or to improve yourself (for example working out to failure, conditioning yourself to the cold if youre wanting to be a special operations trooper, etc etc), then its not something to look upon and admire.

Saying stuff like "I wish I was that strong"? Yeah no you dont, that means youd have to go through something like that anf you get nothing from it. It doesnt help anything. It dominates your life.

#28

Toxic relationships. Like, it’s not cute to be treated like c**p.

Image credits: UrxLovelyRainbow

#29

Autism - but every few years the internet picks and chooses a new thing. It used to be depression, EDs, self harm etc., then it seemed to be Tourette’s and OCD and DID and now, it’s like Autism/ADHD is the *new* thing

I’m autistic myself and have had people patronising me and treating me like a uwu awwtism when they find out.

Image credits: gremlin_trash

#30

Vampires. I want to read about terrifying monsters facing off against villagers with pitchforks, not angsty sexy romances.

Image credits: Firm-Engineering2175

#31

Eating disorders and being very skinny.

Image credits: Lylytr0nnn

#32

Serial [criminals] - they make films and documentaries retelling stories over and over in great detail for sadists. I understand hearing a story because it’s part of history but the cinematic approach taken to these biopics are strictly for entertainment purposes and it’s pathetic.

Image credits: squambish

#33

Being constantly busy.

SeA1nternaL: You don’t realize how much it takes a toll on you mentally until you look at your schedule and slowly die inside with the lack of free time!

when i get like a period of not-business, sometimes I feel like I’m just stagnant and doing literally nothing, which kinda guilt trips me

#34

Trauma bonding "romance".

Image credits: Round_Good299

#35

People who glamorize being in poly relationship's and expressing their love for multiple people. No one cares about your legion of lovers. It's great that you switch partners like a pair of socks. No one cares.

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