The great sci-fi author Robert Heinlein wrote many outstanding books about spaceships, aliens and robots, but in addition to all of the above, I also remembered his art for one incredibly beautiful and damn correct quote. "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
Just agree, this really reflects the essence of true love! And this recent collection of memories from men in relationships from the r/Ask community is dedicated to such situations: various small considerate things done by our sweethearts which we’ll remember till the end of our days. And even beyond, who knows?
More info: Reddit
#1
When my wife and I first started dating, we were asking all of the get to know you questions. Favorite movies, favorite foods, Yada Yada. I had mentioned that one of my favorite foods was the pineapple upside down cake my grandmother made. But it was a little different from the standard recipe. My granny was the pastry chef for a resort in Virginia Beach in the 50s and 60s, and she created this recipe herself for the resort (and I guess the resort became known for it for a while). For my first birthday with her, my wife kept researching and digging until she found someone with a copy of that recipe and took it to a local baker and had my granny's pineapple upside down cake made for me. This was in 2018. My granny passed away in 2000. And she hadn't been able to cook for many years before that. Before that birthday in 2018, I hadn't had that cake since my HS graduation in 1995. Yeah, I cried with the first bite.
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World culture, movies and books have created a cliché that love is necessarily beautiful words that we will always be there, protect our beloved from literally all everyday adversities and get them any star from the sky. No, beautiful words are also great in their own way, but love in a relationship is not so much a roaring, scorching fire as an evenly burning hearth that spreads warmth; when your hand is in the hand of another person, and this other gives you unshakable confidence that you have someone to rely on.
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“Human memory works in an interesting way - we often remember various touching little things that are seemingly completely insignificant,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “In fact, our whole life consists of such little things, and they often emphasize the warmth in a relationship much more than beautiful and spectacular actions.”
“Our memory is in fact very selective, and it’s precisely thanks to those warm feelings that we experienced when our loved ones did something small, but incredibly pleasant for us - it is precisely thanks to them that we remember these events. And then, many, many years later, these memories remain as the most precious thing we had,” Irina ponders.
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It’s interesting that my wife and I have been together for over eleven years, but I still remember the taste of the little cupcakes she baked for me on our first Valentine’s Day. And the little plaster figurine of a Teddy bear holding a big red heart, which I gifted her the day after our twin daughters were born, still stands in our home.
Over the past decade or so, we both have given each other many much more expensive and spectacular gifts, but it was this Teddy bear, which fell on the floor more than once or twice, glued and painted, that still makes our voices warm every time we look at it, and our hearts beat in unison. Because it's the little things that really make up happiness.
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Damn it, I got really emotional while writing these words. So let me go wash my face in the meantime to wipe away a completely inopportune tear from the corner of my eye, and in the meantime, please scroll this selection to the very last story. And maybe add your own examples of the smallest yet warmest memories about your significant others, in the comments below. After all, “love is always so beautiful that it needs to be talked about!” (This is no longer Robert Heinlein, this is me, but the phrase ain’t any less true for it!)
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#39
Rather than making fun of me when I started crying after I found out my pet died, she instead cradled me in her arms and massaged the back of my head while my tears ran down her arms. She held me in that moment for over half an hour then supported me by saying “You gave Larry a great life.”
I’ll never forget that. Those words meant a lot. Rest in peace, Larry. You were the best f*****g fish ever. I understand now why they call them goldfish. It’s because they’re pure gold. And you, Larry? Well, you might have just been the most golden of them all.My wife gets up about 1.5 hours before I do because her work day is much earlier than mine. She knows that I usually pour my coffee and wait for it to cool for about 5 minutes before I start to drink it. So she pours me a cup about 5 minutes before I get up so its at the perfect temperature when I come downstairs.
I'll never get sick of that. 10/10 wife. Would wife her again.I told her about my trauma as a dv victim. She held me and let me cry in her arms.She looks me in the eyes and says "we'll figure it out, we always do.".I mentioned that most men are only ever given flowers at their funeral.
She bought me flowers.I was feeling too sick to make food, so I asked if he could heat up some rice noodles and throw some bottled sauce on them. Instead, he made a whole dish for me with freshly cooked vegetables, crispy tofu, rice noodles, and sauce he made himself. When I asked him why, he said he just wanted to make sure I ate well. I definitely teared up.A few months after we first started dating, I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible pain, vomiting, etc. I tried to power through it like I always do lol but she woke up and insisted we go to the hospital. She got up without hesitation and stayed there with me through the night.
That was my first experience with a kidney stone. You always hope your SO will be there for you without hesitation when something isn't right, but she proved it to me very early on. That was 9 years ago and she's been my wife for the last 7.
Might seem like a basic relationship expectation but actions to me mean far more than words.If my wife wakes during the night and notices I am uncovered, she will "tuck" me in. Most of the time, I'm asleep and don't notice, but once in a while, I am just on the edge of sleep, and it's the most lovely selfless gesture.Most nights after dinner, we’d sit opposite sides of the kitchen island and talk or drink a glass of wine. Sometimes randomly he would walk over to my side mid conversation, kiss me, walk right back to his side & continue the conversation. My heart flutters every time.My wife was super helpful taking care of my elderly mother after she was placed in hospice.One time, my wife and I were talking about a book I remembered having and loving as a child. I spent hours describing it but for the life of me I couldn’t remember the title. We were trying to look it up on google based on my descriptions but google had no idea what I was talking about. When I was just about ready to give up I remembered the title. It was called Glim, The Glorious and I was so happy to be able to show it to my wife online and simultaneously so sad that I didn’t have the book to show her in person.
About three weeks later, she handed me a wrapped gift. When I opened it, it was Glim, The Glorious.It wasn't a small thing; in fact, it's possibly the biggest thing my ex did for me: I was a member of management at Walmart - service manager in the Tire shop. it was a decent job, and not too stressful, but my management changed, and the new manager was trying to get me fired. He'd do things like come behind me and unlock doors after I'd closed, he put merchandise outside, etc. he was trying to set me up, and I wasn't taking the bait. I'd be at home and say, "I've got a feeling I need to go back to work." I'd get there and find some thing that he'd done. He was being directed to get rid of me by his boss - the district manager - so going up the chain wasn't going to do anything. It all came to a head, and we had a "decision making day" meeting where I was told to toe the line or GTFO. We were cutting close to the bone at home, and I *had* to keep this job. I was completely over a barrel, so I agreed that I'd do whatever they wanted. After the meeting, I called my wife. she listened and said, "call me back in 20 minutes."
I call her back and she says, "if we really tighten our belts, and cash in your walmart stock, with the vacation payout, we can make it for 3-4 months. You can quit that job."
I have never felt as great of a weight lifted from my shoulders as I did right then, and that was nearly 30 years ago. I am still grateful to her for that.Not small, but I remember after giving birth my wife was half-way knocked out from morphine. She woke up to see me trying to bottle-feed our son, and she said: I hope I did good, he is beautiful no? And then she dosed off, I cried. Yes, he is! And yes, you did!My partner says "thank you for today" every night at bed time.He tells me he loves me every day. Not a new relationship either we’ve been together for 32 years. If I say I feel fat he says “You wanna see fat? Hop in the car and we’ll go to Walmart!” Always makes me laugh. He finds new recipes online and cooks them for the family on Sundays. He helps our kids fix things. If we see a high maintenance woman on HGTV or in the wild (some poor guy dragging his girlfriends 5 suitcases in the airport) we smile at each other and it’s a very heartfelt I LOVE YOU then and we laugh. He cleans! Without being asked! Bathroom, kitchen, laundry. When he does laundry he folds my underwear into a little square packet. How I don’t know. When he gets home from work he walks in and gives me a big hug.Silly, but she bought me a Valentine toy dog that will play “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog” and its head and ears move. 10years old, and I had to do surgery on it to replace the battery pack. I will enjoy it every February until I die.
Before we were married, she bought me my first tablet, a Motorola Zoom with Android 3. 1GB RAM, 32GB internal. With all accessories, it cost her almost two weeks pay. While it no longer works, I keep it in its overpriced case in my display case of personal mementos.I was having a rough week at work, got home really tired and took a nap.
I woke up with sushi (she doesn't like sushi, but ai love it), a bottle of wine and Harry Potter on the TV.I don’t know if this is small, but once we went through stuff from my childhood home and found a letter to santa. I wrote it when i was seven and among the things i asked for that christmas was a San Jose Sharks towel. No idea why i wanted a towel when i was seven, but i never got it.
Next christmas she gave me a San Jose Sharks towel. It is now so used that i have retired it, but i will treasure it for the rest of my life.I'm not good with events where many people attend. It drains my social battery faster than you can count to 10. But I wanted to see it through and be the best partner possible, because the entire event was really important to him. After around 2 hours (we were talking to his boss at that time) my SO looked at me, took my hand and excused us both from the conversation. We left then and there because "No company event can be so important, that I willingly let you suffer through it"
Even though we are not together anymore, this is still the nicest thing someone ever did for me. Completely unprompted because I really wanted to see it through for him and didn't even complain.Dr. Pepper
I come from Texas but moved 8000 miles away. I was starting to feel a bit home sick. My wife saw me light up once when I found some Dr. Pepper at a restaraunt in the capital city. At the time it was super rare to come across. So she went to our local grocers and asked if they can source it just for me. So to this day our local market is about the only one our city that makes shelf space and regulary stocks it.When i was at my most super low depressed point and just shutting down and shutting everyone out she wrote me a heartfelt note and left it for me to read one morning i left for work. The note really made me feel like i always had someone in my corner and on my team. Just a dumb lil note but it meant the world to me and i keep it folded in my wallet to this day. Whenever im down or we have an argument i pull it out and re-read it and remember the "whys".So it's only been two dates but on the second date she brought me leftover pie that she made for mother's day, it was delicious lol. If this becomes something more I'll always remember this small kind gesture.Asked me how I felt about things. Tooking an interest in why.
Bigger stuff was teaching me to be patient and forgive myself. Speak kindly to myself. Life is hard, may as well be your own advocate and friend.My wife leaves me little love notes around the house all the time. I love them and have saved every one of them. It makes my day!Sandwich and a beer waiting for me after I mowed the lawn.On our first date she could tell I was too awkward and respectful to initiate anything. So, while sitting on a bench together she told me to, “stop being weird” and pulled me in to just lean on each other. It was such a small gesture, but hell, it made me feel so nice. It still replays in my head consistently after how many months.I remember once, I was on my last day of work before going on leave. It was a Friday and some stuff went down and I had to finish late. It really bothered me because in my mind I imagined myself clocking out at 5pm and celebrating. I was pretty burned out at that stage too. I left work at like 7:30pm, and my partner picked me up with an open beer in the car. It was just the best.She knew I struggled with lack of affection so she made me a love letter, when I read it I was trying hard not to cry. She held my hand and told me she'd always love me, that I'm the best person she's ever known and those who had mistreated me were stupid for not seeing my worth.
We are no longer together but I'll always remember that and I don't think I'll ever stop loving that girl, it was the first time I actually felt loved and valued in a relationship.My wife works in the corporate world, and is constantly having lots of dinner meetings and social events where they bring in (really good) catered food for clients. She always makes me a huge plate of leftovers to take home to me. It’s just such a small thing but makes me feel so special that she still does this stuff after being together for 20 years!My wife knows I have a short social battery and doesn’t force me to go to every little event and get-together. However, when she *does* go without me, she always brings me back a treat.
A birthday party? She’ll bring me back some cake.
An amusement park? She’ll bring me back a churro.
Brunch with the girls? She’ll save me some of her dessert.
She’s easily the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met.My GF regularly buys me little niceties, which isn't usual as I've come to read here.
However, the thing I remember most is when I had a tough day, had to work through piiiiiles of stuff and way max stressed out and out of nothing she came to me with a coffee with cinnamon, some iced tea, said "Thought you'll need that", gave me a kiss, whispered "I love you" and left the room.She remembers to get me books that I pick up and put back down in stores. All the time. Usually they're only 10-15$ paperbacks, but because of the way I grew up I feel an immense amount of guilt spending even small amounts of money on myself, so for her to do that for me so I always have something to read without ever having to ask or make myself uncomfortable by buying it means the world to me. She doesn't say a word, she'll just peek at the cover and remember for later.ITs like she knows when im hungry , she just comes wit ha sandwich and something to drink. One of my ex's knew I had been looking forward to MAss Effect 3 a game back i nthe day, so when it came out I was so ready after work. I came home to a basket with my favorite snacks, drinks and a note that says Mass Effect goodie bag, Love you now go kick a*s.Whoever brushes their teeth first before bed puts toothpaste on the others toothbrush and sets it out. She usually wins.She is a wonderful cook reminds me of my own grandmothers cooking, I don’t think she knows how special this is to me.The last time my wife and me got intimate, she said repeatedly "I want you". hearing this after being together for 20+ years is very special and the words are echoing in my mind for month, probably years
Edit: as the comments suggest, I don't want to brag. We get intimate about 2 to 3 times a year (3 kids, house jobs, other issues). Which might be the reason it was even more special to me.This question hits me hard considering my SO is no longer my SO because im an idiot.
The things she did for me, all considerate and never small. I don't know with whom she ends up with but thats ging to be a lucky guy.
Leaving notes:
Surprised me with date nights;
Always kind and thoughtful;
Managed my calendar for me aka helped me remember birthdays and made sure I met up woth family members more than I did;
Gave me the biggest piece of whatever;
Etcetera etc.She took me to Taco Bell.
