The save-the-dates went out a couple of months ago. The dress is with the tailor for some final alterations. And the party planner wants to meet one more time before the big day to run through the napkin design and timings for the speeches.
It might all sound a little extra, just for a 30th birthday – but extra is the normal now. Big 30th birthday bashes are quickly becoming the new weddings – or they certainly are if you’re 30 (29), flirty and single in the capital. Actually, sometimes even if you’re not.
If you’re hovering anywhere near around the start of your fourth decade right now, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Black tie mega-bashes, opulent 50-person lunches, and long, boozy weekends in Marrakech have become the new norm among well-heeled Londoners with cash to splash and a post-pandemic zest for life (and tequila). On Instagram, barely a big 3-0 goes by without the customary ”thirty, flirty and thriving” photo reel of super-sized birthday cakes, private three-course dinners and thigh-skimming cocktail dresses. If you haven’t next to the DJ set with your own set of 3 and 0 balloons yet, have you even turned 30 yet?
“For the single people amongst us, [the 30th birthday] is very much being seen as a sort of wedding substitute,” says Claire Berry, founder of elite London events brand Perfect Cartel, who says she’s seen a noticeable uptick in bigger, more extravagant 30th birthdays in the last couple of years – particularly with more and more couples choosing to marry later, or not at all.
Zeb Hearn, founder of immersive events company Captain Baby, agrees, saying clients regularly ask for their 30th bash “to be like [their] wedding”. A lot of them are singles recieving wedding invitations through the post every weekend who want to claim that “party energy” for themselves. Most of them have a little more spare cash than they did at 21, and might not be going out as much as they did in their early twenties, so see this next milestone birthday as a chance to treat themselves to one last blowout. Well, until the 40th invitations start rolling in.
So what are the latest trends to look out for and which are the hottest venues to snap up for summer? Here, London’s top party planners offer a guide to planning the perfect bash.
Break the venue mould
Renting a pub and throwing some money behind the bar is great, but Hearn says clients are becoming increasingly adventurous for 30ths – particularly when it comes to the venue. Taking guests out of their usual postcode to somewhere they’ve never been before means they tend to arrive with a fresh new energy, she says. “It’s possibly an Instagram thing – and similar to weddings... People are asking how they can make theirs stand out”.
Party designer Roberta Burcheri says private clubs like Soho House, the Ned, the Pavilion, Isabel’s and Caza Cruz are all popular 30th spots, while Hearn says flexible spaces like Raes – a private party space with a mezzanine, lighting and a fully-staffed bar under an arch in Borough – are popular because they can be personalised and turned into whatever the host wants. Patch East and Jack Solomons Club are among the other luxe private hire party venues in central London.
For those looking to host a dinner as well as dancing, Apothecary, Morty & Bob, Bocca Di Lupo and Tonight Josephine all have private dining spaces to hire, while Berry says Jucuzzi – a brand new Instagram-worthy, four-floor pleasure palace on Kensington High Street – is the hottest new party spot she’s sees being booked for 30ths time-and-time again. Expect the same maximalist spirit of Gloria and Circolo Popolare complete with glitter-ball disco toilets, caviar-topped pizzette and a Sicilian-styled mezzanine with a retractable roof. Tonight Josephine offers a drag brunch option if that’s your vibe.
Create your party pick ‘n’ mix
Picking a theme is another popular way to give your bash some extra pezazz. Burcheri says the most common dress codes she’s seeing this year are Barbiecore, lost in space, Studio 54, Moulin Rouge, Seventies apres-ski in the winter and Sixties Dolce Vita in the summer (perfect for pool parties), while Berry recommends having a dressing-up rail at the side of the dance floor even if you don’t have a theme. “A party ‘pic-n’-mix with sweets, maracas, handheld fans and whistles always helps to fill a dancefloor quickly, too,” she adds.
Why stop at a dress code? asks Hearn. She hosted her own 30th at The Vaults in Waterloo, picked a white t-shirt and blue jeans dress code and styled the event as an immersive experience in which guests would arrive and have to join a cult: think branded (fake) tattoos, Sink The Pink on the DJ decks and a utopia room. Naturally, she went all-out because of her day job, but it’s a taste of the kinds of parties you can put on if you’re prepared to think outside the box.
Find your extra
You can still give your party an edge if you’d rather keep the dress code simple. The key, says Hearn, is finding your extra, whether it’s a foodie theme or fun entertainment act. She and Berry know plenty of Londoners who’ve hosted their 30th at the local pub, but hired a drag act, an LGBTQ+ harpist or even Brazilian samba dancers as entertainment. “It just gives the party something a bit extra, a slash of the extraordinary,” says Hearn.
Berry says Mariachi bands are an increasingly popular hire for 30ths in 2023. “They’re always guaranteed to set the party up for a wild time – especially when the tequila shots start to come out”. Plus, they go hand-in-hand with the most popular food theme she’s seeing in 2023: Mexican, whether it’s vegan or veggie tacos as canapes or taco food trucks if you’re going big and want to bring the festival vibe.
Japanese-fusion miniature arancini balls are the other classic canape Burcheri is seeing at 30ths this year.
Think outside the pub
If you’re a summer baby, you’re probably already tearing your hair out over what Hearn calls the “holy grail” of summer parties: outside space. The bad news is venues tend to hike the prices up for outdoor venues in spring/summer. The good news is there are creative ways you can get around it.
Hearn says many clients choose to start their celebrations in a park – the flower gardens in Regent’s Park are a popular option – before moving onto a venue, while erecting your own pop-up bell tent in a park or garden can work wonders if you’re not planning to party until late.
Berry says if she was having her 30th again she would probably host it somewhere like Brunswick House in Vauxhall, which has an alfresco terrace and a basement for dancing into the early hours, while Burcheri nods to Pavilion in Knightsbridge, which has a terrace overlooking Hyde Park; The Standard Hotel, which has a rooftop overlooking King’s Cross; and the Ned’s Club Upstairs, which has two terraces, a giant rooftop bar and a rooftop pool with views overThe City. The Hurlingham Club in Putney is a popular outdoor space for festival or fun fair-themed parties.
If you’re still struggling for outside space or worried about a downpour, Hearn recommends foliage-filled, naturally-lit venues like The Flowerpot in Hoxton where you can recreate the outdoors inside. Petersham Nurseries has long tables in its greenhouse-style restaurant that’s popular for lazyl Italian-inspired feasts featuring cocktails infused with homegrown botanicals.
Take to the water
Can’t find party terrace? Take it to the river. Hearn says boats are an increasingly popular venue option as the weather hots up. London Shell Co in Paddington Basin and Barge East in Hackney Wick are big hitters with hosts looking for a sit-down dinner affair, while Tamesis Dock on Albert Embankment and its sister venue The Battersea Barge are both available for hire as party boats on the Thames.
“We’ve seen a massive increase in 30ths post-Covid,” says Tamesis Dock’s captain Neema Rai. Most hosts tend to hire out a section of the boat for between 40 and 100 people, starting with drinks on the outdoor terrace or cabin terrace before moving to the little party cave below-deck when the sun goes down. “The venue itself brings a readymade vibe,” she says. Nautical and pirate-themed birthdays are common, as are Mariachi bands, but she’s also seen some quirkier themes like Wes Anderson. One group even arranged a Kate Bush flashmob as a surprise for the host.
Make a weekend of it
Why stop at one night? Berry says sees increasingly seeing 30ths go the way of hen and stag dos and become full-blown weekend affairs. Marrakech is a popular one for an exotic retreat that’s do-able in a long weekend, as are foreign or UK festivals.
Airbnbs with pools and readymade party venues such as Kin House in Wiltshire are top of Londoners’ 30th birthday lust lists if they’re opting for a UK minibreak. The restored Georgian mansion is just a couple of hours on the train and made for a summer soiree takeover, with foraging walks, yoga classes, lawn games and firepits for toasting marshmallows. There are 12 bedrooms, each with pure cotton robes and help-yourself mini bars, so it’s essentially your own private hotel.
Go hard and go home
Not everyone wants a maximalist affair. Hearn says increasing numbers of Londoners are opting for more intimate dos– particularly if their birthdays come amid a conveyor belt of big bash weddings or are keen to go easy on the purse strings.
At-home dinners are popular – apps like yhangry let you offer a private chef to your door – and Berry recommends findings ways to incorporate personal touches like getting your friends to help handpaint a tablecloth with names and memories. It makes for a lovely keepsake after.
Berry says she’s also seen a steady rise in 30th slumber parties with matching PJs, cute popcorn boxes and classic films. Treating everyone to an at-home beauty treatment makes for a nice add-on, and Hearn is busy creating a series of after-dinner entertainment products for exactly this kind of occasion. Her latest, Friend Mapping, is an immersive table-top game designed for groups of up to six and features playful interactive challenges and lol-worthy questions that help you build a 3D map representative of your friendship group.
