Article created by: Monika Pašukonytė
Every day nearly 60,000 people nationwide undergo surgery under anesthesia. You’ve probably seen the hilarious effect of it with patients blurting out the most awkward things and later having no recollection of what they’ve said.
What if you played on that phenomenon and made your surgeon laugh out loud by saying something witty just before the anesthesia kicked in? A poster on Reddit asked this exact question and got some of the best suggestions that you can use the next time you go under.
More info: Reddit
The nurse assisting with my vasectomy said, “I think I’m going to be sick” and ran out of the room. I looked at my doctor and said that’s not the usual reaction I get when I drop my pants.
It took him 10 minutes to compose himself.
Just before I went under for a colonoscopy I told the Doc, "Are you sure this is right? I just came in for a teeth cleaning." Without missing a beat he replied, "Don't worry, we can get there from here.".
Anesthesiologist: "OK, we're going to go to sleep now."
Me: "I think ONE of us should stay awake"... and I was out.
I asked my surgical team if anyone needed anything while I was out.
I have seen a patient pull off a pretty good one.
"Wanna hear a joke? How do you keep an anesthetist in suspense?".
I was brutally beaten the night before Thanksgiving by 3 guys with baseball bat while walking to the subway. I came to being rushed into to OR and saw the transfusion bracelets they put on you. I look up saw the bags and nurse rushing me into the OR and asked the nurses and doctors, "Do these things come in turkey and gravy flavor?" I immediately went into a coma for 3 days. I almost died with my last words being a Thanksgiving joke, lol.
I'm a man in his mid-50s with a belly. I told them, "If it's a choice between me and the baby... choose me.".
I was hospitalized and they were doing a colonoscopy to see if they could figure out what was wrong. Right before the anesthesia kicked in I asked the doctor "Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first?" When I woke up he was there with my breakfast.
I was getting the shock treatment for an irregular heartbeat, and after they gave me the shot, my doctor asked me some out of left field, stupid question. I didn’t answer the question, but said something to the effect of, “that sounds like a stupid question to distract me until the meds knock me out.” All the medical people in the room started laughing hysterically. Afterwards I found out that he uses that same question every time, and one of them had just asked him why he uses that same question before I was brought into the room. He said because it was a good question that makes people think and doing so distracts them until the meds take effect.
I asked the nurse prepping me for surgery if he had heard that diarrhea is hereditary as it runs through your jeans. He geeked out and asked if he could keep me awake long enough to tell it to the surgeons in the OR, which I did. I remember hearing them laugh as I counted down.
Something I actually said to the anaesthesiologist as he was putting me to sleep was “Mr. Wonka! It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!” Passed out with the whole operating theatre laughing hysterically.
No joke, they told me to start counting down from 100 and I said “How can you tell when I’m…” I wanted to say unconscious, but I don’t remember getting to that word.
Before my vasectomy I told my doctor, “don’t go nuts down there”.
My mom said she dated you in college and that you're my......
I was about to have a bowel resection and told the surgeon that he only had my permission to take enough to make ONE bratwurst. I also told him that I'd deliberately let my 6-pack abs atrophy so it'd be a bit easier for him to cut through.
This isn't the first time I've had a room full of people inside of me.
I was given propofol for anaesthesia last year & was joking with the anaesthesiologist about Micheal Jackson & just before I went under he's started singing Billie Jean to me.
Just before I went to Mario Land from the pain meds after I shattered ankle, I asked the attending nurse to prom. I was 35 at the time.
Not quite the same but I had an interesting interaction with the nurse who wheeled me in for my colonoscopy. I was terrified to be anaesthetised and he said “don’t stress, Michael Jackson had this stuff for breakfast!”
Me: “Ummm, probably why Michael Jackson is dead.”.
I swallowed a lot of gum as a kid, can you check on that for me?
I'm a redhead, so I always tell the anesthesiologist that I'm not a cheap date. This came after one told me that he nearly emptied his bag of meds to keep me under for the length of the surgery. I woke up still intubated and tried to pull the tube out by myself.
Just make sure I wake up looking like Chris Hemsworth, okay?
I asked the surgeon who was about to implant a spinal cord stimulator in me if they had WiFi in the OR. With a puzzled lock he asked why I was asking that. I said, “ In case you need to lookup something about the procedure “. His reply, “ Don’t worry about that, I helped develop the procedure “.
Years ago, before I went into operating room my doctor asked me to help prank his anesthesiologist friend. I was game so he asked me to say 'oh no, not you again'. Which I did, the look on his face priceless, went out to the laughter in the room.
I made the nurse laugh because i said the room and the clock on the wall reminded me of a SAW movie.
The 1 time I went under I asked the Dr if I was supposed to count back from 100 like I always saw in TV.
He said "it doesn't matter you'll be out before you get to 75"
"100 99 98 97 96....."
"Sir!sir!wake up it's time to get dressed"
I'm not sure if he thought it was funny but I did afterwards.
And the lottery numbers tonight are 25, 36....
