Hooray for Horrible Histories. It was announced today that, in its 15th year, the beloved CBBC sketch show will receive a Bafta special award in honour of its “extraordinary cultural and social impact”.
Based on the bestselling books by Terry Deary, it blazed on to our screens in 2009 and gave patronising children’s programming a hobnail boot up the backside. It spoke to young viewers in a language they understood. Sophisticated sketches were mixed with pop video parodies. The emphasis was always on the gruesome, anarchic, anti-authoritarian and scatological, inspiring six- to 12-year-olds to engage with the past. This was a world of Rotten Romans, Vicious Vikings, Terrible Tudors and Vile Victorians. Plus, of course, plenty of ye olde blood, vomit and poo.
In the comedic lineage of Monty Python and Blackadder, it became cult viewing for parents too. Succession creator Jesse Armstrong once admitted that Horrible Histories was his afternoon viewing vice. The original dream team – AKA “the six idiots” – have since migrated to primetime with haunted house sitcom Ghosts, but the show is still going strong. It was rebooted in 2015 with a new ensemble cast and has now clocked up 160 episodes across 11 series.
Regardless of demographics, Horrible Histories remains one of the most inventive, exuberant and flat-out funniest shows on TV. Its theme song and continuing mission statement? “Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel. Stuff they don’t teach you at school.” In tribute, let’s rewind its 15 funniest moments – one for each year of its, well, horrible history.
Apple drops the aBook
Mat Baynton channelled a toga-clad Steve Jobs in this spoof ad for the all-new Apple aBook: “The intuitive, revolutionary, take-anywhere reading solution … Simply turn the page using the unique turnable pages to reveal new information.”
The Four Georges form a boyband
This list could easily have comprised solely of HH’s trademark songs. This remains among the best-loved. It finds the four Georgian kings perched on high stools, singing Born 2 Rule (“I was the sad one, I was the bad one, I was the mad one and I was the fat one”) before standing for the key change: “You had to do what we told you to do, just because our blood was blue.”
Jane Austen on Historical Love Island
When present-day personal trainer Matt coupled up with “historical hottie” Jane Austen (Jessica Ransom) at the villa, she introduced him to the rules of Georgian courtship: “Dancing without gloves? Unthinkable!”
Charles II: King of Bling
King Charles II (Baynton) styled himself as “the king who brought back partying” in this Eminem tribute. When, during filming, Baynton hopped up on to the banqueting table in the Great Hall to rap it, the look of horror on the faces of Hampton Court Palace staff was apparently priceless.
Stupid Deaths
One of the show’s standout regulars sees the Grim Reaper (Simon Farnaby) decide whether historical figures have endured a daft enough demise to allow them into the afterlife. Favourites include Greek playwright Aeschylus, killed when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head, and Richard the Raker, who drowned in his own poo.
The Monarchs Song
A generation got a headstart on their history homework with this right royal earworm, breathlessly running down every British monarch since 1066. No Lucy Worsley or Dan Snow documentary will ever be as educational as lines such as: “Henry Three built the abbey, Ed One hated Scots / A red hot poker killed Ed Two, that must have hurt him lots.”
Viking Eye for the Saxon Guy
Parodies of the makeover show became a semi-regular. The original and best riffed on how the Vikings changed everyday life circa 900AD. “We’re going to give this Saxon some sass!”
Majestic Mr Bean
Rowan Atkinson donned tights for the first time since Blackadder – not to mention a ginger beard and plenty of padding – to play Henry VIII. He crooned “a little more reformation, a lot less monasteries” Elvis-style, with a trio of nuns on backing vocals.
Shouty Man
Jim Howick’s deadpan face is deployed to excellent effect in this recurring parody of cheesy infomercials, always beginning: “Hi! I’m a Shouty Man and I’m here to tell you about … ” Whatever the era, he pops up to loudly advertise “must-haves” of the period, such as Pee-sil laundry detergent (washing medieval clothes in urine).
Vikings and Garfunkel
Howick and Baynton come over all folky as they list the changes brought by the Vikings after conquering Britain and their impact on our language, culture and geography. “When we’d finished plundering and pillages, we made nice villages … And that’s no lie, lie-la-lie.”
The Axe Factor
A batch of wannabe beheaders battle it out to be the next royal executioner on this Tudor talent contest. “The type of noose varies according to the appointed time of the public hanging. This is the nine o’clock noose, his is the noose at 10 … ”
Made in Greenwich
This Made in Chelsea spoof (starts at 3min 37s) whisks the reality toffs back to the Jacobean court. Modern Sloaney speech contrasts hilariously with 17th-century trimmings, with a running gag about James I weeing while on a horse. “Like, maybe your wifey Anne has totally secretly converted to Catholicism, bro … Super awkward and un-chill.”
Dick Turpin, Highwayman
Adam Ant fans will appreciate this pitch-perfect spoof of Stand and Deliver, which sifts highwayman fact from fiction in flamboyant glam rock style. Baynton’s melodramatic star turn feels like a forerunner of Thomas the poet from Ghosts. As he says: “I was no prince charming, nothing dandy about me.”
Dad’s dead! I’m king!
Having waited until his father died aged 81, George IV finally succeeded to the throne. His reaction to the grave news was childishly gleeful: “Yes! Get in! Dad’s dead! Dad’s dead! Oh gosh! I’m king!” Howick’s celebratory dance only makes it funnier.
Love is an open loo door
When Arctic explorer Peter Freuchen got trapped in an avalanche, the resourceful Dane hatched “a poo-ly bizarre escape plan” and tunnelled his way out using a frozen turd. Inspired by Disney’s Frozen, he sang: “Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it in any more / Let it go, let it go, let it curl up on the floor.” As the trailer said: “Frozen Freuchen. Coming soon. Although I’d probably give it five minutes if I were you.”
