What else needs to be said about Dolly Parton? The woman can do it all — write, sing, act, run an East Tennessee tourism shempire — and when she’s not busy doing those things, she’s out here funding childhood literacy and life-saving vaccine research. Anyone foolish enough to say Dolly should stay in her lane doesn’t realize she built the whole damn road.
BUT. I. DIGRESS.
Dolly’s upcoming album, “Rockstar,” celebrates her ability to put her stamp on just about anything she chooses, featuring 30 rock covers and artist collaborations including “What’s Up?”, “Let it Be” and a powerful rendition of goddaughter Miley Cyrus’ 2013 hit, “Wrecking Ball.”
Her upcoming album got us thinking about other covers Dolly could easily make her own across all genres, and HOO BOY, did we take this way too far, per usual.
"I'm on Fire" by Bruce Springsteen
About a decade ago, someone noticed that if you speed up “I’m on Fire” by Bruce Springsteen to 45 RPM, it sounds exactly like Dolly Parton. Let’s hear her take a stab at it for real.
Bryan Kalbrosky, Senior NBA Writer
"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails (NSFW)
Hey, if a NiN cover worked for Johnny Cash, it’ll work for Dolly.
Charles Curtis, Deputy Managing Editor
"Heat Miser/Snow Miser" medley from "The Year Without a Santa Claus"
Christmas is coming. Let’s let Dolly revive the most slept-upon of the Rankin-Bass classics with a hot/cold combo that goes harder than any other Christmas song to come out of the 1970s.
Christian D’Andrea, NFL Writer
"Still Tippin'" by Mike Jones feat. Slim Thug and Paul Wall (NSFW)
Imagine Dolly Parton saying “Fo’ fo’s I’m tippin’, wood grain I’m grippin’.
Catch me lane switchin’ with the paint drippin’.” Perfection. Enough said.
Meghan Hall, Staff Writer
"WAP" by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion (Very NSFW)
The laughs alone would be worth it. On a serious note, though, Dolly Parton has never been afraid to touch the subject of sexual liberation with her music. I can’t think of a more appropriate song even if it would be extremely weird.
Mike D. Sykes, Opinion/Newsletter Editor
"What a Fool Believes" by The Doobie Brothers
I wanted to go funny with it and pick something like “Du hast” by Rammstein, but I actually want a Dolly song that I’d want to listen to a ton. There was a brief moment of thinking “Anti Hero” by Taylor Swift would be awesome (it would be awesome), but there’s just something that calls to me about this one. “What a Fool Believes” is a nearly perfect song, and it makes me happy.
Caroline Darney, BetFTW Managing Editor/FTW Pop Culture Editor
"Misery Business" by Paramore
This is the quintessential song about teenage angst and high school love revenge. Now imagine Dolly belting out “But God, does it feel soooo good. Cause’ I got him where I want him now.” I would faint. There’s no coming back from that. Let’s make this happen.
Robert Zeglinski, Staff Writer
"Popular" from Wicked
Dolly Parton and Kristin Chenoweth feels like a match made in heaven to me and I’d love to hear Parton’s take on one of Wicked’s most iconic songs.
Mary Clarke, Associate Editor
"Neighbors Know My Name" by Trey Songz (NSFW)
Na, this might actually be fire. But hearing Dolly sing these lyrics would still be hilarious. Do they, Dolly? Do the neighbors know your name?
Prince Grimes, BetFTW Senior Writer
"SkeeYee" by Sexyy Red (NSFW)
Dolly grew up in a part of the country where high-pitched exclamations are commonplace, making “SkeeYee” a perfect fit if she suddenly gets real cool about using expletives.
Alex McDaniel, Managing Editor
