A festive joke about the politicians ruining Christmas dinners has been revealed as the winner of a national competition to come up with the best new modern Christmas cracker gags, according to the British public. Other topical stories from the past 12 months have been used as material for the top festive funnies, including Holly and Phil’s infamous queue-jumping, the rising cost of living and Will Smith’s slap at the Oscars.
The winning jokes are revealed by TV channel Gold’s annual festive competition for new Christmas cracker jokes which aims to keep the country chuckling this festive period, adding a comical spin to a rollercoaster year. Now in its tenth year, the competition once again challenged entrants to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, which were then voted for by the British public to determine the winners.
Gold’s top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2022 are revealed as:
1. What type of peas ruin Christmas Dinner? MPs
2. Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off? She’s running up that bill.
3. How did King Charles III sign his Christmas cards to his family? The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
4. What’s the difference between Liz Truss and a shepherd? One U-turns and the other turns ewes
5. Why are Will Smith and Chris Rock not having turkey this Christmas? Because they’ve got beef
6. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints
7. What crisps do Phil and Holly serve at their Christmas party? Skips.
8. Why are the Government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity? They can't find three wise men
9. What do people heating their homes and wrapping paper have in common this Christmas? Both of them are getting ripped off
10. How can you keep your home warm this Christmas? Tinsulation
Gold challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags to enter the competition. Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges - led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau - and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Gold’s Christmas crackers, which were presented to this year’s winners.
The annual joke competition celebrates Gold’s seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britain’s best loved comedies such as Gavin & Stacey, Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, said: "After another year of ups and downs the British public has delivered the laughs, with this year’s modern Christmas cracker jokes covering topics from the rising cost of living to queue-jumping presenters and politicians performing u-turns. Proving that once again we’re a nation with an unrelenting sense of humour!’
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says: "This year has seen another outpouring of comedic talent for our competition, putting a festive funny spin on the events of 2022. We’re hoping that alongside Gold’s Christmas programming, this year’s winning entries will see the country end the year with a laugh."
The author of the winning joke, Claire Travers Smith from London, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain her own winning gag. All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Gold’s knowledge.
