Jane’s* 14-year-old daughter, Grace*, used to be able to sit through a movie with her but her addiction to social media and online games has meant her daughter no longer has the focus.
“We were watching Romeo and Juliet, the Baz Lurhmann one, and she really wanted to sit and watch that with me but she couldn’t watch it to the end,” Jane said.
Less than 20 minutes into the movie, Jane looked over to see Grace playing solitaire on her phone.
Jane said her daughter’s addiction to technological devices “got out of control” during the Covid lockdowns when her devices were her only means to connect with friends. “Now, I just couldn’t take the device away. She would actually get very aggressive with me, like very aggressive.”
It has also begun to affect her schoolwork. “She used to do really well. She can still do maths because that’s usually a quick fix, but things like English and grammar that she needs to really focus on … she can’t do any more.”
Almost 60% of parents and carers are worried about how social media affects their teens’ mental health and wellbeing, according to a new report.
Answering open-ended questions about their concerns for their children’s wellbeing, parents and carers chose social media as a top issue of concern more frequently than any other issue (35%) in a survey by the mental health service ReachOut.
In a nationally representative survey of 631 parents and carers living in Australia and caring for 921 young people aged 12 to 18, which was carried out in April 2023, 59% said their teens’ social media use was of concern.
Of those who expressed concerned, more than one in two (55%) said it had a significant impact on the wellbeing of the teenagers they care for.
The findings from the report Parenting in the Digital Age, released on Monday, are contrasted with a previous ReachOut study, which showed young people were less likely to be concerned about social media use than their parents.
The study, released last year, asked young people about their concerns and showed 34% of young people thought social media was an issue of concern.
The interim chief executive at ReachOut, Jackie Hallan, said parents had four key concerns in the area: the amount of time young people were spending on social media, the safety of platforms, the limited parental controls and the type of content that the young people were accessing.
“Parents and carers were concerned that the young people they care for are developing unhealthy self-images or body-image concerns, or are missing out on opportunities to develop the social skills they would need in the ‘real world’,” the report said. “They saw these things as contributing to young people’s social isolation or loneliness, which, in turn, contribute to anxiety and depression.”
Dr Rachael Sharman, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of the Sunshine Coast, said the survey’s findings have been reflected in research “time and time again but it is interesting to hear that even the parents now are noticing this at the coalface”.
Sharman said there has been a the rise of what researchers are now referring to as “autism-like symptoms … poor emotion recognition and poor interest in humans, full stop.”
A study that tracked 80,000 mother and child pairs in Japan across several years found a clear link between screen time and diminished social skill development, Sharman said. “If we fast forward to adolescence, what we’re definitely seeing is the rise and rise to teenagers with absolutely poorer emotion recognition,” she said.
Young people’s interpersonal skills were being further damaged by social media algorithms, which deliberately fed their own opinions back to them and prevented them from encountering views different to their own.
“This is where we’re seeing people fall apart,” Sharman said. “We’re seeing teenagers in particular respond with anxiety when they see information or a viewpoint that is not their own.”
Hallan recommended that parents and carers should check in with their teenagers about their social media use. She said choosing an environment like going for a walk or a drive for that conversation could be less challenging than sitting down face to face.
Katherine, a year 10 student, has never had any social media accounts but she said her mother, Rachel, never banned her from them.
Katherine really wanted to get into social media at the tail end of primary school, as all her friends were getting phones and starting to use social platforms. But as a teacher, Rachel saw the negative impacts of social media regularly – including antisocial behaviours, online bullying and the platform’s addictive nature taking up too much of children’s time.
“She never said, ‘You just can’t have social media,’ and walked away without explanation. She was like, ‘Katherine, I get this is something you want but can we talk about it, can I understand your point of view, and you’ll understand mine?’” Katherine said.
Rachel said, “I knew it was much better to put in place boundaries and conversations early, rather than do something and then feel the need to wind it back.”
Katherine and Rachel will have another conversation about her social media use when she turns 16 at the end of the year.
*Names have been changed
• In Australia, children, young adults, parents and teachers can contact the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 and Lifeline on 13 11 14. In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393 and Childline on 0800 1111. In the US, call or text Mental Health America at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
