The moment Lee Su-nam walked into an ornate hotel ballroom in North Korea and laid eyes on his brother for the first time in almost 70 years, he was filled with bittersweet emotions. It was a joyous reunion, but he struggled to recognise the man across from him, and will likely never see him again.
The two men wept and embraced, but both were at a loss for words and Su-nam, 76, could not think of what to say to his brother, 86-year-old Lee Jeong-song, who he thought had died long ago in the chaos and fog of the Korean war, which ended in 1953.
For three days this week, 89 elderly South Koreans were given 11 hours to spend time with relatives they had not seen in over six decades. The family reunions are part of a rapprochement between the two Koreas that started at the beginning of the year and have seen tensions over the North’s nuclear program subside.
After fighting back his tears, Su-nam began to reminisce about their childhood growing up in Seoul, only to discover his brother had trouble recalling details that happened a lifetime ago.
“Time had made his memories fade away,” Su-nam said. “It was strange seeing my brother as an old man. He aged so much.
“I thought if we had the chance to meet in the past, he would have remembered more about our memories,” he added.
The last time they were together, his brother was 18 years old and was preparing to travel south, hoping to avoid conscription in the approaching North Korean army. But Jeong-song’s escape was unsuccessful and he was pressed into military service.
After the end of the war, he made a life for himself in North Korea working as a factory manager in North Pyongan province, which sits on the border with China. He married and had a son, and both his wife and son accompanied him to the reunion. Su-nam talked about his life in Seoul, where he lived in the same neighbourhood his entire life and worked as a driver and a security guard.
“I thanked [his wife] for being by my brother’s side for all the years,” Su-nam said, adding that despite the long time apart “we are still brothers and everyone is still family”.
Their favourite moment was the three hours where they could meet in the privacy of a hotel room, away from the other families and North Korean minders. They spent most of their time simply getting know know each other all over again, filling in a lifetime of blank spaces.
Su-nam brought his brother nutritional supplements, medicine, socks, underwear and towels, items prized in North Korea for their quality. Jeong-song returned the favour with three bottles of strong liquor, a tablecloth and ornate fabric for making clothes.
But it was a meeting that almost never happened. Su-nam for years did not apply for the chance of at a reunion alongside 57,000 other South Koreans, assuming his brother was dead, but took a chance this round and was notified his brother was alive on 25 July.
The reunions this week were the first since 2015 and most of the participants were elderly, raising fears time is running out for more families to be reunited. There have been 20 rounds since the program began in 2000.
The fear that he would never see his brother again still haunted Su-nam the day after he returned from North Korea. Neither the South Korean government nor the Red Cross, which organised the reunion, could say if the families would be allowed to maintain any form of contact.
“One of my lifelong wishes has been fulfilled,” Su-nam said. “But it was very sad seeing my brother and his family waving goodbye to us as our bus left.
“It was a goodbye without a guarantee of us meeting again. The separation has scarred us again ... it is now another time for sadness and suffering.”
But before the two brothers parted, Jeong-song was hopeful about the future.
“Stay in good health so we can meet again,” he told Su-nam.
With additional reporting by Junho Lee
