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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Martin Belam

Eurovision 2024: Switzerland’s Nemo wins 68th song contest with The Code – as it happened

Switzerland wins the Eurovision song contest – summary

  • Switzerland has won the Eurovision song contest with a song called The Code by non-binary singer Nemo.

  • Croatia finished second with Baby Lasagna’s much-fancied Rim Tim Tagi Dim.

  • A huge public vote lifted Israel’s entry into fifth place despite low jury scores after a Eurovision week where protesters in Malmö had demonstrated against the country’s participation during the conflict in Gaza.

  • The UK’s Olly Alexander finished in 18th place, amassing 46 points from jury votes, but nothing from the public.

  • Ukraine finished third, with France fourth. Ireland’s Bambie Thug, who describes their genre as “Ouija-pop”, came sixth.

  • One of the favourites, Joost Klein of the Netherlands, did not appear in the final after being disqualified after organisers said he was involved in an incident involving a female member of the production crew before the final rehearsals.

Thank you so much for reading the live blog tonight. Here is the winner …

The Code by Nemo

Updated

Here is the official video of the winner. Switzerland have won twice before, but this is the first time since 1988 when *checks notes* Céline Dion won with Ne partez pas sans moi.

The winner!

Updated

Nemo’s winning song The Code was written by Benjamin Alasu, Lasse Midtsian Nymann, Linda Dale and Nemo Mettler, and I would say it merged opera, rap, pop, and had a touch of Sparks about it. If you don’t know who Sparks are, there is a whole documentary. Loreen has just presented the trophy to Nemo, who will perform the song again. It is a worthy winner, and they said: “I hope this contest can continue to live up to its promise to stand for dignity and peace everywhere.”

Updated

Switzerland wins Eurovision!

Switzerland has won the 68th Eurovision song contest! Nemo has triumphed in Malmö with The Code

The winner

Updated

Switzerland need 180ish points to win this. Croatia and France are the only other contenders.

Oooooooh Croatia

Ireland’s Bambie Thug and her ritual moved up to third but suddenly Ukraine also have a huge public vote and go into the lead, just shy of a hundred points ahead of Switzerland. I think Switzerland have got this unless France and Croatia can out-do them.

The UK’s Olly Alexander ends up with zero votes from the public. Wow. He did not deserve that.

Israel had 52 from the jury and got a huge 322 points from the public but it puts them 10 points clear of Switzerland for now in the lead. It isn’t enough to win.

Updated

Estonia avoided null points, they got 4 from the jury and 33 from the public, Finland’s Wndow95GetThemOutEdgelord didn’t do great either, making me feel justified in being super critical of them earlier.

If a country won 12 points from every country plus the world jury they could add 456 points! So still difficult to call but Switzerland’s Nemo is very much in pole position here.

Updated

The top five after the jury vote:

  1. Switzerland 365

  2. France 218

  3. Croatia 210

  4. Italy 164

  5. Ukraine 146

We are 34 juries in of the 37, and Switzerland are (hasty maths) 133 points ahead. But a country can pick up hundreds of points in the public vote so this is not done and dusted by any means.

If you have just joined us, Switzerland have a big lead after 30 of 37 juries have given their scores. The public vote could change everything. But here is Nemo’s The Code which is out in front at the minute …

Nemo’s The Code

Martin Österdahl, who is the public face of running the show, was booed as he delivered the jury votes from the Netherlands. The Netherlands declined to announce their own votes after Joost Klein was disqualified, after the EBU said he was involved in an incident involving a female member of the production crew.

HOLY. MOLY. Scrub out ✨✨✨ Twelve points from Greece to Cyprus! ✨✨✨ and replace it with ✨✨✨ Twelve points from Greece to Switzerland! ✨✨✨

Switzerland, Ireland, France, Italy, Croatia and Portugal are the top six after 17 of the 37 juries, but it will all change once the public vote is added.

Down at the bottom of the table Estonia still have the dreaded nul points, Israel, which we expect to do well in the public vote, only have 3, and the UK, Spain and Serbia are struggling with just 6.

Updated

I was not expecting ✨✨✨ A keytar! ✨✨✨ to appear twice but Australia did it!

The announcement of Israel’s jury results has been loudly booed in the arena as it came on the screen. They gave 12 points to Luxembourg.

9 out of 37 countries have reported so far, and nearly all of them have outstayed their welcome by saying far too much and delaying announcing who gets 12 points as long as possible to hog the airtime.

Switzerland’s Nemo is getting some early jury “douze points” here, but a cynic (ie me) knows you can pick the order of the juries to produce an early leader that gets overtaken later for TV drama potential.

Results begin to come in for Eurovision 2024 …

Experience tells me that I am not going to try to give you a blow-by-blow account of the votes coming in because it goes so fast. We are going to hear from the 37 countries. The organiser of the contest for the EBU, Martin Österdahl, was notably booed when he was on screen to say the votes were “good to go”.

Voting is closed and we are awaiting the validation of results.

Who wore it better etc …

Last year’s winner Loreen is now appearing while votes are being cast, and also seems to have the other half of C3-PO’s costume that Georgia’s Nutsa Buzaladze was wearing earlier.

So busy with the live blog I forgot to vote … but it is happening now! You can vote too. Details here.

There were some rumours of Abba being special guests but we got an awkward skit with their avatars, and then video clips in the arena of Waterloo … but suddenly we also have Conchita Wurst and more …

Updated

ZOMG IT IS ABBA. Well sort of …

Votes are being counted at the 2024 Eurovision song contest!

25 countries have performed in Malmö, with favourites for victory including Croatia, Switzerland, Israel and Ukraine. National juries voted last night and their results will be announced shortly, with the public currently having the last few moments to have their say in the 37 countries that participate in Eurovision and in a separate round-the-world vote.

If you want to join in, voting instructions are here.

For the first time ever a country was disqualified from competing after Dutch singer and rapper Joost Klein was excluded from the main show due, the EBU said, to an incident involving a female member of the production crew.

Police outside the arena confirmed they had used pepper gas on pro-Palestinian protesters who were objecting to the participation of Israel in the contest in the wake of conflict in Gaza.

Updated

Just busy twisting the knobs on my Roland TB-303 in the background. That’s one for anybody who was making this sort of music in the 80s or 90s.

26: 🇦🇹 Austria: Kaleen – We Will Rave

Tapping into the 90s nostalgia market, it’s time to dig out your Snap!, Haddaway and Dr Alban vinyls, as I believe the younglings call phonographs these days. I think it will be popular in the room, and with the public, but I’m not convinced it will pick up enough jury votes because it’s a bit formulaic. My raving days are long gone, alas.

25: 🇫🇷 France: Slimane – Mon amour

You have to admire France, with a guaranteed spot in the final each year, looking around at all the trends going on in pop music, and relentlessly sending in dramatic French ballads regardless. Chapeau!

I also think her writhing around the ground counted as ✨✨✨ A song includes a middle eight that seems entirely designed to facilitate the choreography! ✨✨✨

24: 🇬🇪 Georgia: Nutsa Buzaladze – Firefighter

It is perfectly good electro-pop although I am still baffled this got the nod over Denmark’s Saba and Sand, which seemed in similar territory. Maybe Nutsa wearing half of C3-PO’s costume helped it over the line.

✨✨✨ An artist has their dog in their postcard! ✨✨✨

I need a breather after that.

The thing that sells it so much is it suddenly bursting into a Bon Jovi chorus …

23: 🇭🇷 Croatia: Baby Lasagna – Rim Tim Tagi Dim

This is totally infectious and you will be humming it for days. You’ve got to admire a song that can both tug on the heartstrings of having to sell your beloved cow and leave your mum behind, and also raises the exciting prospect of moving to the city for the boys who are pretty. It’s top three for sure. I’ve nailed my colours to the rim tim tagi dim, there.

Pro-Palestinian demonstrators pushed back by police

Police were pushing back pro-Palestinian demonstrators around the Malmö Arena where the Eurovision final was taking place, AFP reports:

More than a hundred demonstrators waved flags and chanted “Free Palestine”.

Some wore keffiyeh, the Arab headdress associated with the Palestinian cause, including some wrapping them around their faces.

Climate activist Greta Thunberg was among them, but stayed clear of the altercations between the most aggressive protesters and the large police contingent.

She sat with other activists in a circle, but was later escorted away by police.

In the afternoon, some 5,000 people marched peacefully through the city, home to the majority of Sweden’s population of Palestinian origin.

Around the concert hall, police officers were pulling demonstrators towards the many police vans parked in the area.

“You get the impression that they’ve been given carte blanche to be a bit more aggressive than usual,” Sarah, a 45-year-old Malmö resident told AFP.

She had come to protest “passively”, she said, adding: “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

The police, who confirmed that they had used pepper gas, were trying to push the demonstrators back towards a square where a pro-Palestinian demonstration had been authorised.

“They sprayed pepper gas in my face, pushed me, I was even pulled,” Sara Bo, 26, told AFP, showing her reddened eyes.

Hold that thought as ✨✨✨ A painfully high note is delivered! ✨✨✨

This should be my kind of thing, but … nothing happens?

22: 🇸🇮 Slovenia: Raiven – Veronika

The first time I saw this staging I thought there might be a twist where they put MORE clothing on, bless them. They must be freezing.

Monika Čvorak is reactive news editor, video for the Guardian, and one of our resident Eurovision superfans. Here is what she thinks so far:

In the words of Windows95man: NO RULES! This year’s show is proving to be incredibly entertaining and there have been very few boring songs. Hurrah!

So far tonight I have loved Ukraine – such a haunting yet powerful and beautiful ballad – and Armenia. It’s fun, it’s traditional but with a modern twist, it has a feminist message and a man on the flute – what more could you ask for?

Though with so many strong entries I’m worried they won’t do as well as I’d like them to, and thus become my 2024 “they really deserved more” country.

I really want to talk about Ireland. The song, the staging, the symbolism: it’s such a captivating performance which doesn’t let you look away (despite being slightly terrifying). It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but you can’t deny it’s incredibly creative and unlike anything we’ve seen before at this contest, so I salute it.

But I’m really looking forward to my homeland, Slovenia, and my favourite to win this year, Croatia. The crowd absolutely loved Baby Lasagna during the first semi-final and there’s a bit in the song where the whole arena mimics the dance moves. Rim Tim Tagi Dim!

I am old enough to be slightly non-plussed by the rapping bits, but oh oh oh this taps into my Sparks and Klaus Nomi obsessions. I think they are incredible and if it doesn’t win, it will be one of the most distinctive non-winning Eurovision songs.

Updated

21: 🇨🇭 Switzerland: Nemo – The Code

This has got winner written all over it. The song is brilliant, and the staging is a step up from everyone else in terms of presenting some kind of circus act drama on that stage. A lot of people have relied on digital tricks, but how is Nemo pulling off the vocal theatrics and physical theatrics? Hero. This has got my vote.

It is another win for this on the bingo – ✨✨✨ A song includes a middle eight that seems entirely designed to facilitate the choreography! ✨✨✨

My son tells me I should have written “If you say this song is bad you are a … liar”.

Updated

20: 🇨🇾 Cyprus: Silia Kapsis – Liar

This might be the one to get behind if you are up in the early hours in Australia and somewhat bamboozled by the fact that Electric Fields did not make it to the final. Silia Kapsis is a resident of Sydney, and the youngest competitor tonight, and the song is, in my humble opinion, an absolute bop. Also loving the postcards having clips of old acts from time-gone-by.

Letting the producers pick the show order definitely allows them to rack up the strong songs at the end and I love this. So lively. And there is more more more to come …

19: 🇦🇲 Armenia: Ladaniva – Jako

Despite my slight suspicion that half the instruments are playing the song in a different time signature to each other, I love this – it is so much fun. The staging has obviously decided that Jaklin Baghdasaryan’s charisma is the main draw here, and who can argue. The official video, where she is chucking pomegranates around and for some reason stroking a large chicken, is a joy. The chicken also gets a shout-out in the background graphics of tonight’s performance.

18: 🇵🇹 Portugal: Iolanda – Grito

This staging is the answer to the unspoken question, what if the Blue Man Group had picked white, and the song didn’t leave much of an impression on me at the semi-final stage – it is a fairly uneventful ballad – until you get to the 😱😱😱😱 at the end. You’ll see ✨✨✨ a painfully high note is delivered! ✨✨✨

I am still reeling from my entire family giving Finland 10/10 on every measure …

This is going down with absolute peals of laughter at my family Eurovision party so I now feel like a lonely curmudgeon …

17: 🇫🇮 Finland: Windows95man – No Rules!

I hate this. It’s like 2024-era Ricky Gervais doing a Eurovision entry and then going “Ooooo I’m so edgy they wouldn’t let me have the Windows logo and I’ve put a load of burden on everybody else around me in the staging for my genitals not to appear on live TV”. I absolutely loathe it. It will no doubt do well with edgelords.

16: 🇷🇸 Serbia: Teya Dora – Ramonda

All the potted bios of Teya Dora (her full name is Теодора Павловска) say she is mahoooooosive in the Balkans pop music scene. I can’t vouch for that but this seems like the kind of dark gothic ballad I ought to personally like but it doesn’t do it for me. I keep thinking the tinkly bell in the verse is going to break into Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, but it never does. Nor does it ever really get going. The central thing in the staging is the rock … and it just looks a bit like a diseased molar to me.

Haha, it looks like since the semi-final Italy opted out of the “death by vine” costumes that was the main part of my review. The perils of live blogging live television.

15: 🇮🇹 Italy: Angelina Mango – La noia

This is a bit slight if you ask me, and the main thing is the costume choice, which looks like they’ve been attacked by ivy. It’s no Måneskin, that’s for sure.

Via Wiwiblogs, here is a clip of what Olly Alexander actually looked like in the room at rehearsals.

When the Netherlands was disqualified, I adjusted all the song numbers, but then the EBU decided they kept their original song numbers, so now I am confused, which bodes really well for the voting! Norway are going 13th, but are song 14. I think.

14: 🇳🇴 Norway: Gåte – Ulveham

With the Czech Republic and San Marino not making the cut, this is one of the few remaining entries with a bit of rock to it, and a little tinge of folk horror around it too. It has grown on me a bit, but I can’t see many points being accumulated here.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I suspect this picture choice from the end of the song also gives away that I pre-selected some pictures from the semi-final and dress rehearsals to use tonight

So I think that staging was amazing but I have a hunch – ✨✨✨ A performance is designed to look great on TV but looks terrible in the hall! ✨✨✨

13: 🇬🇧 UK: Olly Alexander – Dizzy

I was pretty lukewarm on this when it was first revealed, rather agreeing with my colleague Laura Snapes that it sounds like a rehash of Pet Shop Boys imperial It’s A Sin. But the staging! Wow. Hoo boy etc etc. I think it lifts it to another level entirely, and is going to have Daily Mail readers spluttering into their early evening Ovaltine. He should end up on the left-hand side of the final scoreboard at least.

I am a big fan of the bit where it stops and she orders the dancers around with that “Όπα, όπα, όπα, κάτσε, κάτσε, κάτσε”, although I also think it counts as ✨✨✨ A song includes a middle eight that seems entirely designed to facilitate the choreography! ✨✨✨

I’ll just leave this here …

Not Greece’s Eurovision entry …

I call this as starting as ✨✨✨ A performance is designed to look great on TV but looks terrible in the hall! ✨✨✨ because why the Insta live filter?

12: 🇬🇷 Greece: Marina Satti – Zari

I really like this, a great soundclash with some traditional bits of Greek music (and dance) and 8-bit sounds as if they were generated on a ZX Spectrum, plus a very generous nod to O Superman by Laurie Anderson at the beginning.

I mentioned earlier that Eden Golan had this prop, or a similar one, and they used it for the dancer and lights and stuff. And he just seems to have had it rolled on stage as if it was a discarded bit of HS2 construction …

11: 🇱🇻 Latvia: Dons – Hollow

There is a lot of love out there for this guy, and I was lying in bed last night with insomnia thinking about some of the terribly rude and sarcastic things I have published on the internet over the years with some regret, but the phrase “This song is what you get if you order Hozier’s Take Me to Church on Wish” would not leave my mind for some reason.

Updated

I love how this veers between let-us-do-satanism-on-television and sounding like a Disney princess soundtrack. Superb stuff.

10: 🇮🇪 Ireland: Bambie Thug – Doomsday Blue

This is the ticket. Bambie Thug is from Cork, describes their sound as “Ouija-pop”, and the people who lost their minds about Taylor Swift doing American sign language that they think represent the devil’s horns are going to have a complete freak-out about the full-blown sexy satanic ritual going on here. I don’t think it will trouble the top places but it is three minutes of Eurovision joy, will frighten your nan, and at least it isn’t Dustin the Turkey.

I’m hosting my children and sister and her family for a Eurovision party while doing this, and they have enjoyed Estonia, so maybe I am completely wrong? But I doubt it. That Estonia entry was dreadful.

Updated

Protests outside Malmö Arena

Associated Press has details of some of the protests taking place around the contest this evening:

Before the final, thousands of pro-Palestinian demonstrators marched through Malmö to oppose the participation of Israel, with a small group shouting “shame” at fans heading into the Malmö Arena for the show.

Though Eurovision’s motto is “united by music”, this year’s event has proven divisive.

Pro-Palestinian protesters argue that Israel shouldn’t be allowed to take part amid a war that has killed almost 35,000 Palestinians.

Thousands of people marched for the second time this week on Saturday through Sweden’s third-largest city, which has a large Muslim population, to demand a boycott of Israel and a ceasefire in the seven-month war.

A few Palestinian flags were waved in the auditorium during Saturday’s Eurovision dress rehearsal, in defiance of a ban on flags other than those of competing nations.

Updated

9: 🇪🇪 Estonia: 5miinust and Puuluup – (Nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi

I genuinely cannot believe this made it through the semi-finals, I honestly find it to be a painful shouty dirge, and the staging just looks like some lads having a dust-up in a pub car park after they’ve all got drunk at a wake after acting as pall-bearers. Also there should be a Eurovision rule against titles that long, I’m not typing it again.

Having said all that, my colleague Philip Oltermann said it was really fun in the arena itself when he was at one of the rehearsals, so maybe the staging just isn’t coming across?

Sir Terry Wogan (1938 – 2016)

In the UK it is traditional to toast long-running voice of Eurovision Sir Terry Wogan before song nine. Why? Because he advised his replacement Graham Norton not to touch a drop of alcohol before then, otherwise you get too drunk to properly convey the results. A fate which thankfully never ever befalls Guardian live bloggers*. Also I’ve already lost count of which song it technically is … because Graham Norton just did it, but this is only the eighth song?

[*If you’ve been here before you know it pretty much descends into chaos once the votes start coming in]

I wouldn’t think this has a chance of winning, and then suddenly men in corsets are breakdancing, so who knows?

✨✨✨ A keytar! ✨✨✨

It is almost like I saw the semi-final before writing the bingo card 👀

✨✨✨ An artist has their dog in their postcard! ✨✨✨

8: 🇪🇸 Spain: Nebulossa – Zorra

A married couple who get to make a living by doing 80s-sounding synthpop at Eurovision? Where do I sign up?

I welled up there a bit with Karin Falk, sorry.

As the contest is going on it seems to be emerging that after the disqualification of Joost Klein, the Netherlands do not intend to read out their jury votes. Finland’s representative, Käärijä, has also apparently pulled out of delivering the results.

7: 🇱🇹 Lithuania: Silvester Belt – Luktelk

This is song six but actually song number seven. I’m confused. It is bouncy enough pop with a catchy chorus, but it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. The stark colours of the staging and the dancer costumes recall some kind of 1970s Doctor Who villain with their henchmen. Lithuania have never finished higher than sixth. Could this be the one? *dramatic pause* Probably not.

Updated

Israel’s entry Hurricane had to be changed from its original version, titled October Rain, after the European Broadcasting Union objected to the lyrics, which were widely thought to directly reference the Hamas attacks of 7 October.

At the time, Israel’s public broadcaster, KAN, said it would reject any request to alter the words, but later agreed to amend the song after Israeli president Isaac Herzog’s called for “necessary adjustments” to ensure the country could take part.

The original lyrics included the lines: “There’s no air left to breathe” and “They were all good children, each one of them”. A refrain in Hebrew at the end of the song has been completely rewritten.

You can find a full breakdown of what changed here, and my colleague Safi Bugel’s report about it from March here.

Just on the Israel staging for a second, they’ve rolled out some kind of physical prop there which they have hung lights on and the dancers interact with, and – NO SPOILERS – but I think you are going to see that again later where they just … roll it out on stage for no readily apparent reason, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

6: 🇮🇱 Israel: Eden Golan – Hurricane

It is a fair enough Eurovision ballad, and advance warning, you can’t fault her for vocal range at the climax of the track. In any other year I think it would have done well enough, but not necessarily been a direct contender for winning. This year, I think the way the public vote might pan out could see it placed very highly indeed.

Here again is the FAQ that the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) published about Israel’s participation.

The numbering is going to go weird here, because for voting purposes everybody keeps their original number, but there is no song number five. So Israel will be the fifth song on the night, but count as song number six. Who knows when we do the toast to Sir Terry in these circumstances.

This doesn’t count as ✨✨✨ Unexpected use of the French language! ✨✨✨ for your bingo cards, because it is frankly more unexpected use of English given they have three official languages in Luxembourg and English isn’t one of them. The animations are clearly sponsored by BIG CAT™️

4: 🇱🇺 Luxembourg: Tali – Fighter

Luxembourg have won it five times and are in little danger of making it six times with this, bless.

I laughed …

When I interviewed the Ukraine entry, Jerry Heil said it was like a sauna in the arena with the heat of the audience. This amount of fire isn’t bringing it down, is it?

✨✨✨ An artist has their dog in their postcard! ✨✨✨

3: 🇩🇪 Germany: Isaak – Always on the Run

I used to make it a point of honour not to listen to any of the big five/host entries before the final so that you would get my initial unfiltered impression. This year I decided not to do that. So I watched them during the semi-finals. And made absolutely zero notes about Germany. Which I guess also counts as an initial unfiltered impression.

Updated

As everybody is reminding everybody, nobody has ever won after going second. This will be up near the top, but not a winner?

✨✨✨ The wind machine is activated! ✨✨✨

2: 🇺🇦 Ukraine: alyona alyona and Jerry Heil – Teresa & Maria

There is a little bit of Bronski Beat’s Smalltown Boy about the opening chord sequence, but it soon starts sounding like a cross between the traditional Ukrainian singing that we are familiar with from Ukrainian entries past, and some religious chorus. I think this will do well. Full disclosure: I got to interview them this week and they were lovely so maybe I have a bias.

Seems like a strong presentation with the Matrix/Kraftwerk style graphics, not sure the extra dancers have added much to it.

1: 🇸🇪 Sweden: Marcus & Martinus – Unforgettable

Sweden couldn’t do it again, could they? This is a glorious little slice of electronic pop with some delightfully squelchy analgoue-sounding flourishes. The biggest drawback for them is possibly going first. But with voting open from the start this year, who knows whether all the usual rules and omens about the running order need to be chucked away?

Updated

They joked about the show lasting up to eight hours so I’ve already lodged an overtime pay claim just in case. We now get a recap of the joy/madness that is Eurovision in a few seconds. It didn’t include live blog coverage as a highlight so I need to up my game.

If you are wondering why you didn’t see Joost Klein of the Netherlands in the parade, it is because he has been disqualified “due to an incident involving a female member of the production crew”.

More details here …

I’ve previously said the flag parade is an annoying time-waste imported from the Olympics although tonight it will be useful just to check everybody has rocked up …

Sweden, the joint most succesful nation in Eurovision history, has opened their show with Björn Skifs singing Hooked on a Feeling. And now the flag parade …

OK, let’s get ready to go. The 68th edition of the Eurovision song contest is about to begin …

Last year Alexis Petridis took on the unenviable task of ranking every single Eurovision winner ever for us. I recently ranked every Doctor Who so understand exactly the kind of pressure involved in producing a list like that.

He put Sweden’s 1984 winner Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley by The Herrey’s at the bottom of the pile. But what did he put at number one? You’ll have to click through to find out … but it wasn’t Bucks Fizz so I’ve belatedly sent in a complaint myself.

In the buildup to tonight’s main event, Scott Bryan spoke to Eurovision hitmakers from Bucks Fizz to Käärijä to get them to reveal the tricks of the trade. Here’s the piece …

My dog seems quite unimpressed with her printed out Eurovision scorecard, but do feel free to send pictures of your dogs enjoying Eurovision, and any other comments you might have to eurovision@theguardian.com.

If you missed the second semi-final, our Swedish hosts did a little song and dance number that was charming and self-deprecating about being Swedish and a Eurovision fan, and included so many Eurovision national stereotypes that it also nearly crossed the line into being offensive – especially with its incredible portrayal of what the show would have been like if Finland were hosting, and some very stylised national jury presenters. It is well worth eight minutes of your time …

We Just Love Eurovision Too Much from the second Eurovision semi-final.

Updated

Eurovision live blog Bingo 2024!

No live blog is complete without some bingo card suggestions. Of course, if you want to have a shot of drink each time you spot one of these things, you are welcome, but drinking is not compulsory. Instead you can just shout out “Rim Tim Tagi Dim!” or “Ram-di-dam-dam-dam!” or which ever bit of lyrics has got lodged in your brain already. Here are my suggestions …

  • ✨✨✨ A costume change! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ A keytar! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ One of the presenters raps! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ Someone says the evening/songs have been “wonderful”! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ A performance is designed to look great on TV but looks terrible in the hall! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ Unexpected use of the French language! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ An artist has their dog in their postcard! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ A painfully high note is delivered! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ A song includes a middle eight that seems entirely designed to facilitate the choreography! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ Twelve points from Greece to Cyprus! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ You’re live blogger makes a typo! [THAT’S THE JOKE] ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ A cynical “uplifting” key change right near the end of the song! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ The wind machine is activated! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ An overlong pause delivering the “Douze points” when we are already running behind! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ Joanna Lumley! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ Someone presses the button to make fire appear on stage! ✨✨✨

  • ✨✨✨ The boys are bare-chested again! ✨✨✨

Updated

Having mentioned Ukraine’s 2007 entry Verka Serduchka in the last block, I also spoke this week via email with Go_A, who were scheduled to represent Ukraine in the Covid-cancelled year, and then were robbed when Shum should have won in 2021.

They were in Malmö earlier in the week and said the atmosphere was “wonderful and festive”. They said being in Eurovision had made their “dream come true”, and that now “we are gathering full venues in different countries and we keep being ourselves and singing in Ukrainian language.”

They have a new single out called Krip, and said they had met up a couple of times with this year’s Ukrainian entry – alyona alyona & Jerry Heil – and said “they have great teams and they know what they are doing.”

Go_A new single Krip

I did a little recap for the site this morning of some of the songs that have caused controversy in the past, and that gives me an excuse to post a link to it and embed a video of probably my ultimate favourite Eurovision performance. Set your time travel machines for 2007.

Verka Serduchka - Dancing Lasha Tumbai

Updated

If you didn’t watch the semi-finals, here are four things missing from tonight that we would all have enjoyed …

1) The irony of Iceland’s Hera Björk, who previously appeared in 2010 and came 19th, having a song including the lyrics “been here before and never got it right” and then … not getting through to the final

2) San Marino’s incredible Harley Quinn meets Donnie Darko in the backroom of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza parlour with a Tim Burton-esque inspired animation backdrop

San Marino’s 2024 Eurovision entry

3) Denmark’s Sand by Saba, which was a perfectly decent slice of electro-pop which I can’t stop singing but which inexplicably got eclipsed by entries like Latvia and Georgia ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Denmark’s 2024 Eurovision entry

4) Poland’s chess-themed The Tower by Luna which had her looking a bit Klaus Nomi-esque and some incredibly freaky chess-piece costumes.

Luna’s The Tower at the first Eurovision song contest semi-final on Tuesday

Why is Joost Klein of the Netherlands not appearing in the final?

The Netherlands’ entry has been disqualified from the grand final of the Eurovision song contest due to an incident involving a female member of the production crew, the competition’s organisers have announced.

Dutch singer and rapper Joost Klein, 26, had qualified for the contest’s main event but was absent from Friday’s dress rehearsals.

It’s the first time in Eurovision’s 68-year history that a contestant has been disqualified after the start of the five-day event.

“Swedish police have investigated a complaint made by a female member of the production crew after an incident following his [Klein’s] performance in Thursday night’s semi final,” Eurovision’s organisers said in a statement.

“While the legal process takes its course, it would not be appropriate for him to continue in the contest,” it said.

“We maintain a zero-tolerance policy towards inappropriate behaviour at our event and are committed to providing a safe and secure environment”.

The organisers said the incident did not involve any other performer or delegation member.

How does voting work in Eurovision 2024?

Every competing country in the contest – that is all 37 who initially entered, not just those appearing in the final – have both a jury awarding votes, and a public vote.

Once voting closes, each country reveals who has received a maximum 12 points from their country. Points are awarded as follows: 12, 10, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. This is the bit where we go from country to country and a celebrity or Eurovision alumni says “Hello Malmö! What a great show” and then takes too long to reveal the score.

After that procedure, organisers go through all the competing countries in the final, from those placed last to those placed first after the jury vote, and add their total points from the 37 public votes. The online votes from viewers in non-participating countries around the world are aggregated and awarded as one set of points at this point too.

Essentially this engineers a tension where countries in the top five or six after the jury votes have to wait until right at the end of the show to see whether they earned enough points with the public to overhaul each other.

I wanted to address straight away that clearly the biggest news story around this year’s contest has been the calls for Israel to be excluded, and calls for a boycott of the event once the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) made it clear Israel would participate.

I’m going to follow the same procedure I do when covering events like the Olympics – once the organising bodies have made their decision about who can participate, we cover the event as is, so we’ll treat Eden Golan and Israel’s song and staging like any other entry tonight.

I’m aware that some Guardian readers and regular Eurovision live blog followers will be glad to keep the music and the politics separate – and also aware that some of you will find that disappointing, and think it is the wrong decision.

It is also possible that as the night goes on the main story of the evening becomes one about protests in and around the venue and disruptions to the show. There is a possibility there may be on-stage protests or artists refusing to perform. We have Philip Oltermann at the venue in Malmö, and he will be feeding into the live blog, and we will of course include any news of that in the live blog too.

Here is an FAQ from the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) website explaining its stance on Israeli participation in the 2024 contest. You can find all of the Guardian’s ongoing coverage of the Israel-Gaza war here.

You don’t have to take it from me, our head rock and pop critic Alexis Petridis has already sorted out what he thinks are the songs to look out for tonight …

Hallå! Salut! Hello! Привіт! ¡Hola! Ahoj! Γειά σου!

Hallå! Välkommen till vår bevakning av den 68:e Eurovision song contest!

That is about as much Swedish as I can manage. By which I mean that is all the Swedish that I put into Google translate earlier. The contest gets under way at 9pm CEST, which is 8pm BST, and if I’ve done my maths right, is 5am tomorrow in Sydney.

I’d love to hear from you, so ping me an email at eurovision@theguardian.com with your thoughts, and especially pictures if you have dogs watching the show.

I will be your host for tonight’s coverage, not as well dressed or as smooth as Malin Akerman or Petra Mede, but not as scripted either, so hopefully I will provide an enjoyable add-on if you are watching, or a way of keeping up with it if you’ve not got to a television.

Updated

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