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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
National
Mike Bedigan

Adam Kay says his ‘life has been absolutely transformed by birth of my children’

Adam Kay says his life has been “absolutely transformed for the better” after welcoming two children via surrogate with his husband.

The former doctor-turned-comedian and writer, said he hoped his son and daughter would forgive him for the “mistakes I make on the way”.

Kay shared the news for the first time while speaking to Lauren Laverne on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs.

He is best-known for his memoir, This is Going to Hurt; Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor, which has sold more than three million copies.

It was later turned into a Bafta-winning BBC television series starring Ben Whishaw and Ambika Mod.

During the episode of Desert Island Discs, he discussed his medical career, his early life and sexuality and the latest additions to his family.

He has been married to Game of Thrones producer James Farrell since 2018.

“We have a very boring life, or we did until six months ago,” he said.

“Now, and this isn’t something that I’ve spoken about before, there is no calm whatsoever, because we’ve got two very young babies – Ruby, who’s six months, and Ziggy who’s two months.

“I don’t need to explain the way that having kids changes your life, but it’s absolutely transformed it for the better and also ruined it.”

We have a very boring life, or we did until six months ago... Now, and this isn't something that I've spoken about before, there is no calm whatsoever, because we've got two very young babies.
— Adam Kay

Kay said that the children had been born via surrogacy in the US, and that Ruby’s had been a “difficult pregnancy”.

He became emotional as he recalled receiving a phone call about her imminent birth, but was unable to get on a flight in time to be there for the moment.

“So many of my thoughts are about how to be a good father and how to get it right and how to be there, and I’ve started off very, very, very badly by missing it,” he said.

Asked about his feelings on being a father, he continued: “I’m obviously going to mess it up.

“But I think if I can somehow not project onto them, If I can let them describe their own routes through life.

Ben Whishawh in BBC adaptation of Adam Kay’s memoir ‘This is Going to Hurt’ (Sister/Anika Molnar)

“And if they’re as happy as they can be, as healthy as they can be, then hopefully they will forgive me for all the other mistakes I make on the way.”

Kay also discussed why he believed his memoir served a useful purpose by deterring young people from embarking on a career in medicine.

“I’ve had, since the book came out, various angry messages from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles saying, ‘my son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandchild, used to want to be a doctor. Then they read your book. What do you say to that?’

“And the answer, I’m afraid, is – good. Because if that book is going to put you off medicine, then medicine is really going to put you off medicine.”

He added: “I hope I haven’t put people off seeing their doctors.

“I hope I’ve made people think differently about their doctors, and the stuff that those people are going through.”

Desert Island Discs airs on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 at 11.15am on Sunday.

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