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Michael Sykes

The Dallas Cowboys are frauds and we should thank them for showing us this early

This is For The Win’s daily newsletter, The Morning Win. Did a friend recommend or forward this to you? If so, subscribe here. Have feedback? Leave your questions, comments and concerns through this brief reader survey! Now, here’s Mike Sykes.

Goooood morning, folks! Welcome back to The Morning Win. Thanks so much for reading.

We’ll have a quick word on the Cowboys in a second, but before that I wanted to update you all on our poll results. On Friday, I asked you all which organization you’d rather be part of: The Washington Commanders or the Chicago Bears.

There were 40 responses in total and 34 of you said Chicago.

I’m not going to lie — I thought it’d be closer! But it turns out that Washington’s organizational stink doesn’t just wash away overnight. That’s totally fair.

Anyway, let’s roast the Cowboys.


Don’t trust Dallas

I was so sure that today’s column would be about Sean Payton absolutely embarrassing himself against the Jets after talking all that trash about Nathaniel Hackett and the alleged worst coaching job ever. Those were his own words, man.

But the Cowboys bailed him about. Dallas absolutely spilled all types of milk all over the field against San Francisco.

This happens every year, man. The Cowboys just trick people into believing that they’re somehow the team to beat without actually beating much of anybody.

There’s always a stretch in the season where the Cowboys just look like world-beaters. Dak Prescott makes all the right throws. Micah Parsons seems unblockable. CeeDee Lamb looks like the most talented receiver in the NFL. The defense seems immovable as a whole.

Then, all of a sudden, the Cowboys can’t stop anybody. Dak just starts throwing some of the worst interceptions. Tony Pollard goes missing. Dallas just doesn’t look like the same team anymore. Reality sets in.

The 49ers were reality this year.

San Francisco’s 42-10 route of the Cowboys shows us that, yes, there really are levels to this thing. And Dallas is very clearly not on the 49ers’ level — not even close.

But it’s also hilarious that the Cowboys thought they were. The team was confident enough in Sunday night’s game that Dan Quinn wore all black to it like he was going to a funeral.

I mean, even after the game, Micah Parsons is still talking like his team can hold a candle to San Francisco. He said he still doesn’t feel like the 49ers are on a “higher level” than the Cowboys. It’s almost like he didn’t play in the game at all.

Look, man. The Cowboys are an extremely talented team. They’re also easily the most talked-about team in the NFL — here I am, talking about them on this platform right now.

But I’m doing so to tell you this: DO NOT TRUST THIS TEAM. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200 dollars in Cowboys bucks. It’s just not going to work out for you because it’s not going to work out for them.

Sorry, Cowboys fans. But you and I both know what the deal is. So let’s just act accordingly moving forward.


Sean Payton is still catching this L

Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Sean Payton, don’t you worry. You’re not getting off easily this Sunday morning. His 2023 Broncos might be worse than Nathaniel Hackett’s 2022 Broncos. The irony is so delicious.

Robert Zeglinski perfectly breaks it down here in his NFL Week 5 awards column.

“Sean Payton talked all that smack about Nathaniel Hackett in the offseason, in turn making it clear his version of the Denver Broncos would be better. After all, he was the “brilliant” coach with a Super Bowl ring. Payton’s team couldn’t possibly be worse than the guy who presided over the worst season of Russell Wilson’s NFL career. Right?

About that.

Through five games in 2023, Payton’s iteration is 1-4. Through five games in 2022, Hackett’s Broncos were 2-3. Even if Denver might, theoretically, be in better places (like on offense), there’s nothing meaningful to suggest that Payton is doing any better of a coaching job than Hackett, the now offensive coordinator for the New York Jets. What a coincidence that the two teams had the pleasure of meeting in Denver on Sunday. And what a dream for those of us fond of drama after the Jets’ 31-21 win.”

Humble pie has been served. I absolutely love to see it.

REQUIRED READING: Here’s a full look at Robert’s Week 5 Awards, including another ridiculous Aidan Hutchinson interception and a terrible week from Mac Jones.


Something is in the water

(Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

The MLB playoffs have just been filled with so many upsets and underdog stories so far.

  • Over the weekend, nearly every higher seed in the wild-card round of the playoffs was eliminated with the exception of the Phillies (No. 4) who beat the Marlines (No. 5)
  • The Orioles (No. 1) are currently down 2-0 in the ALDS to the Texas Rangers (No. 5) and are on the brink of elimination.
  • As of Monday morning, no higher seed has a series lead in either the ALDS or the NLDS. The only higher seed with a win so far is the Astros (No. 2) who won Game 1 against the Twins (No. 3).

We’re only one game into so many of these series, but still. This is just not what anyone would expect so far in these playoffs.

It’s not even just the fact that lower seeds are winning — it’s the way they’re doing it. For example, the O’s gave up 11 runs in Game 2 against the Rangers. Baltimore’s ERA on the season was 3.78.

Or how about Clayton Kershaw getting rocked for six runs in Game 1 against the Diamondbacks while only recording one out? That’s never happened before — not just to Kershaw, but to anyone.

This postseason has been so weird. It’s also made for some pretty entertaining baseball. More, please.


Quick hits: The best of Week 5 in the NFL … a GIF for every NHL team … and more

— Christian D’Andrea has the best things from Week 5 of NFL action, including the Jared Goff renaissance. In Dan Campbell we trust.

Mary Clarke has a GIF for each and every NHL team entering the season. This is too fun.

Mary also did watchability rankings for each team, too! Can’t say we don’t have NHL preview content for you.

— Here’s Ben Fawkes on the big win the Dolphins gave public bettors over the weekend.

— Here’s the Cowboys fan meme content you’ve been searching for. Charles Curtis has you covered.

What a brilliant fake punt. Robert Zeglinski has more for you here.

That’s all, folks! Thanks so much for reading TMW this morning. And thanks so much to everyone who responded in our poll. We appreciate you!

Let’s do this again tomorrow. See you then!

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